My New Blog: www.truelovedates.com

As some of you may have noticed, my posts over the last year have evolved from devotionals into articles about love, marriage, dating and relationships in general.  This has always been a passion of mine and I am so thankful that I  have been blessed with the incredibly opportunity to publish a book with Zondervan publishing company, writing about the things I love.  

My new book, True Love Dates, is a unique book about dating and relationships- challenging young singles to pursue relationships in a psychologically sound and spiritually healthy way.  It's written from a counselor's perspective and offers sound advice based on my experience as a professional counselor, my personal love story, and hundreds of real-life examples from couples all across the world.

In preparation to release this book in October, I wanted to let you, my readers, know that I am going to be committing my full energy to blogging and writing at my new website- www.truelovedates.com

God has been nudging me in this direction for quite sometime now regarding the things I write about, and it's time I make the full plunge.  I appreciate how far you have come with through this humble little blog, and I have been so encouraged by your emails, messages, and questions that you have sent my way.  Thank you for keeping me going!

I would love all of you who have been blessed by my writing to join me in sharing the message that relationships can be done right...and that God has a way that is so, so good.  

Please visit www.truelovedates.com, subscribe, tweet, Facebook, like and share- and become a part of a community that is challenging this generation to adapt healthy lifestyles and in turn, healthy relationships.  Here's to an exciting journey ahead!

The Obsession of Physical Appearance:

I read an article recently addressing the dangers of body-image issues.  The most horrifying thing about this article was the fact that it was addressing patterns found in elementary school aged children, and the eating disorders and self-esteem issues that are becoming a serious problem even among 6-9 year olds. 

It’s not surprising if you ask me.  As a professional counselor, every year I’m seeing these issues pop up at an earlier and earlier age.  The concept of body-image has taken on such an important role in our society, and the effects of that are slowly trickling down into the generations beneath us.  If for no other reason than that, something has seriously got to change.  

I don’t know of many things that have such power over how a person feels about themselves than that of body-image.  For many young men and women, our physical appearance has become the measuring stick against which our entire value and worth are assessed by.  But let’s get real: as detrimental as this value system can be, it’s really hard to just “walk away” from that measuring stick when everything around you is pointing you in that direction.  

 It doesn't take much observation to realize that we live in a society that glorifies the physical, and to be honest, it's really easy to get caught up in that.  We all want to look good in one way or another.  We want the world around us to stop and take notice.  That is the natural outflow of the fact that we were created to be loved and adored.  

I get that.  But, I also see that this desire has become a dangerous idol for many people, young and old.  We've allowed this natural desire for love and attention to fuel an unrelenting obsession with the physical- an obsession that is destroying the lives of countless individuals in its aftermath, leaving so many without hope and without significance because of a few natural short comings (and sometimes no short comings at all!)

At one point in my life, I found myself walking down this dangerous path- a life of obsession, negativity, and self-deprecation that was sucking every ounce of joy, value and worth from my life little by little.  The negativity I had was even starting to affect the people around me, who graciously had enough love for me to call it out for the trap that it was.

I had to make a decision to get out of this pit before it got too deep.  It wasn't easy, let me tell you that.  I was so used to living by a value system that was based on the external that I had forgotten how to do it any other way.  Slowly, but surely, I was able to deliberately put some things into action that saved me from some serious pain.  Here are some things that helped me break free from this cycle:

1. Choose to stop thinking negatively:  First and foremost I had to take some major inventory of my thoughts.  Believe it or not your brain is actually train-able.  Patterns of thinking will easily develop based on the route you encourage your thoughts to go.  I had been stuck in some seriously catastrophic patterns of thinking that had become so natural I hardly noticed them.  I had to start taking the time to listen for my negative self-talk, begin to write it down, and call it out for what it was: straight up lies.  

The second part of this process was not just calling out the lies, but replacing them with truth.  I had to begin developing a totally new value system that was based on the value and worth that God had for me.  I memorized verses, talked to God, and read books that reminded me of what my true measuring stick was, and I had to daily (sometimes hourly) choose to measure myself up against the qualities of the internal rather than the external.  

2.  Take inventory of who you spend time with and what is coming out of your mouth:  This was huge for me.  I realized that so much of my time was being spent with people just like me- stuck in a rut, measuring themselves up by standards that were pretty much unattainable- and we were all falling short together (group failure can be addicting).  Every conversation and interaction was reinforcing my need to focus on my shortcomings, whether it was through complaining, comparing, or competing.  I had to make a point to limit my time with the people that only added to my physical baggage, and hold myself accountable for the things I was allowing to come out of my mouth.  The less you think about something the less you talk about it- and the less you talk about it, the less you think about it.  It was time for me to start making some real changes.      

3.  Get involved in things that promote your true self:   It’s easy to get caught up in a faulty measuring stick when you feel as though you have nothing else of value.  I knew that I had so many qualities and talents that had been hibernating due to my fixation on the physical.  I had to take the time to stretch those muscles again and realize that I had so much more to offer the world than my appearance.  I got out there and volunteered, used my leadership qualities, wrote encouraging notes, and spent time with those in need.  I took advantage of these little things that reminded me that I had so much to offer and gave me a fresh glimpse of the world around me.  

The truth is a negative and self-deprecating person has the ability to be just as vain and conceited (if not more) than someone who is narcissistic, because at the end of the day- whether negative or positive, both individuals are fixated on SELF.  Getting out and getting involved helped me take the needed time and energy to focus my life on others instead of being so completely wrapped up in myself.   

4.  Take a look at the deeper issues:  For some individuals, the concept of body-image issues runs very deep.  A few of the above steps might be helpful to some extent, but won’t have the power to pull them out of the trap of their body-image obsession.  Control issues, abandonment fears, and lack of boundaries in their world are just some of the things that might be fueling the need to focus on the physical.  If this is you, don’t take these things lightly.  The longer you are in this trap, the more difficult it is to get out.  Take some time to address these issues by finding a professional counselor and giving yourself the opportunity you need to focus on gaining back the control and getting your life back.      

I don’t know about you, but I want to be a person that is adding to the value and self-worth of the generation beneath me.  I want to be a person that sees the good inside of others, and begins to encourage them for the God-given qualities and value that are unique to them.  But at the end of the day, that only begins with learning to see the good inside of me.      


*This article originally written for RelevantMagazine.com 

When Good People are Stuck in Bad Relationships:

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

As a therapist, I've been hearing about a lot of bad relationships lately.  Christian friends, family members, and even clients opening up and sharing about their struggles, weaknesses, and straight-up dysfunction in the area of boy + girl.

To say I'm surprised by these things would be an overstatement, because I'm really not.  Turn on any TV station and you'll tune into some divorce, break up, or relationship tragedy that's occurring in the world around us.  Listen in on any gossip at the office and you'll hear about heart-break, lying, cheating, and manipulation.  Sometimes, relationships can be really toxic.  But what's more surprising to me is not the occurrence of these relationships- but how little Christians talk about them.  

Toxic relationships exist all over the world, and guess what, they exist in Christian relationships as well.  Christian people are flawed, sinful, and broken human beings just as much as the other guys.  Take that combination into any relationship and you're bound to find a toxic concoction at somewhere at some point.  So what is keeping us from bringing it to the light?  Why are we so silent?

Scripture says that whatever is in darkness will be healed as it comes into the light.  It's time to break the silence about dysfunctional relationships by starting to have these conversations, by starting to be real.  Christian, it's time to take inventory of the relationship you are in- whether dating or married- and ask yourself if it's good, honoring, and uplifting.  We are called to be actively engaged in relationships in which we are giving and exchanging that kind of hope to one another.  In which we are spreading God's love like it's a contagious disease.  But toxic relationships look nothing like that.  

They rob you of your joy, take away your hope, and cause you to believe that's all your worth.  

You might be in a toxic relationship if you commonly feel the sting of manipulation, jealousy, envy and rage.  God calls us into relationships that are full of patience and love. 

Maybe you're feeling controlled- unable to say what you want, do what you want, or believe what you want. God's love brings us into hope and freedom.  

Maybe the toxicity of addictions, drugs and alcohol are seeping into your relationship and in turn are destroying your life.  God wants to help break away from these chains and give you the power to live freely. 
 
What if you keep getting led into dark places- places of lust and seduction that leave you feeling guilt and shame.  God wants to shine His light upon your life, and forgive you in the best way He knows how- completely.  

Maybe you're being beat down verbally- ripped of your dignity and self-worth.  God wants you to know that you are His beloved- worth far more than precious rubies and more valuable than the finest of pearls. 

You may be feeling the sting of abuse- the infliction of physical pain that breaks your spirit even more than it breaks your body.  God has felt the sting of physical abuse in order to free you from your own...His stripes and wounds are a sign that you deserve to forever be free of yours.** 

If you're married, seek pastoral and professional help immediately...begin the restoration process even if that means doing it alone.   

If you're dating, it's time to believe that you were made for so much more than this.  It's time to break free and allow God to bring you healing and restore your hope-  How to Get out of a Toxic Relationship.

It's time to get real, to get honest, and to get help**. It's time to stop waiting for the change, and begin making the change yourself.  It's time to step out of the grip of the past, and into something new.  It's time to acknowledge these dark places and bring them into the light of His healing.  

**For more assistance in breaking free of toxic relationships, go to www.aacc.net (American Association of Christian Counselors) to find some professional help in your area. 

Why It's So Hard to Love Yourself- and How to Start:

Mark 12:31
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

I tweeted a message asking "Why do you think God asks us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves?"

One young woman tweeted back saying:
"I hope He calls us to love our neighbor as HE loves us...b/c sometimes,  I don't love myself very much".

Her answer to my question made me stop and think.  From what I've seen and experienced, this young woman is not alone in her struggles.  Hundreds of people that I have met, counseled, or befriended- all struggling with the same thing.   

Why is it so hard to love yourself?

I heard a talk the other day about self-worth.  The speaker was saying that it's almost as though we are born into a world in which we are constantly getting labels slapped onto us by others.  Our parents, our friends, our family, and people that we don't even know.  Each person from the outside looking in coming up with their label to put on us.  Some are kind, some are true...but so many of them are lies.  Negativity.  Hurt. Judgment. Misunderstanding.  Labels, slapped onto us without our permission.  And sometimes, we carry them so long that we believe what they say.    Sometimes, we allow them to define us.

I think sometimes it is so hard to love ourselves...because we have believed what the labels have been telling us.   

The truth is, God came to rip off all the labels that have been placed upon us, and start teaching us the truth about who we are- who He has made us to be.

When we acknowledge His love for us, we get the opportunity to take off all the labels and start from scratch.  If you back up one verse, Mark 12:30 is an essential starting point to learning how to love ourselves.  In it, God calls us to love Him fiercely, with all that we are:

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'

When we are in focused relationship with God, loving Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength- every part of us is open to learning and experiencing His view of us.  We are exposed to His way of thinking and feeling and His definitions of us begins to sink in.  His labels begin to take priority.  We become surrounded by His love for us, and it begins to permeate into our hearts as well.  And eventually, surrounded by such a relentless love- it begins to rub off.  We slowly learn that He thinks we are worth it.  We slowly believe that maybe we are worth it.  We finally begin to love ourselves...because He has first loved us.

And then finally, when we have really learned to love ourselves, we are opened up to the true meaning of loving others.

Love must always start with us.  Because in order to give out love, we must first possess it. 

I'm thankful for a God who pours His love on me, teaching me to love myself as He loves me, so that I am ultimately freed to love others.

It's time to rip off all the labels.  It's time to be freed to really love.  

  

Are you in love, or just in need?

1 John 4:18
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."

I was having a conversation today about the stark difference of being in love and being in need.  When you really get down to the roots of each kind of love, they are unmistakably polar opposites, although from the outside in they may appear the same. 

There are many who believe that they have fallen in love, only to realize that this love is purely based on need.  A need to be wanted, to be valued, to be affirmed.  A need to be taken care of, to be nurtured, to be safe.  Need-love drives you toward another out of your disparity.  It binds you together by its codependency and unites you in its fear.  It takes two empty people, and fools them into thinking that they can fill one another up.  But in the end, fulfillment never comes.  In the end, their desperate needs cause them to feel more and more depleted.  In the end, their needs grow even greater in the shadow of a false and dying love.   

True love is never based on need, it is birthed out of covenant.  It is founded in commitment.  It's a love that speaks permanence and unconditional positive regard because it's a love that is based on choice.  It loves even when it doesn't feel like loving, and gives until it can give no more.  It loves the one before it because of who they are, yet continues to love because of who it is.  It is an unrelenting, passionate, fierce and growing love that simply loves for the sake of loving...a love that loves to love, rather than a love that loves to be loved. 

It is a love that offers something not a love that only takes. 

It is a love that wants nothing from the other but the opportunity to love them better.

True love is a reflection of a God who truly loved...completely, wholly, perfectly.

But it is a love that can be found here on earth, in glimpses, in moments...moments of sheer bliss, utter selflessness.  It is a love that reminds us of the Source of our perfect love.  And points us back to Him for more.  The Perfect love that casts out all fears, all doubts, and all needs. 

Because only in Him can our needs be met...and only then, are we free to truly love...

Lord, help me to love in this way...

Five Ways We Keep Our Marriage Strong:

Google "marriage jokes" and these are some of the things you'll find:
  

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

I really despise marriage jokes.  First, I despise them because they are critical, negative, and completely discouraging.  But secondly, I despise them because at the core....they reflect the heart of a very broken society, with a very twisted view of marriage.  They reflect a world around us that is struggling to see marriage as a blessing, but rather see it as a hindrance.

Turn on the local news and you will hear story after story of broken marriages, destructive relationships, struggling families, and the on again off again romance of Hollywood that confirms our societies apathetic view on holy matrimony.    

I despise marriage jokes because I believe they affirm the very thing the Enemy is trying to do in the world around us- steal, kill, and destroy our God-ordained, God-given, God-created relationships.  They make light of a very serious matter and snuff the image of God in the very relationships that were meant to reflect and honor Him.  
  
Marriage is no walk in the park. It is a road full of really hard choices, ridiculous selflessness, and constant service.  But it is a journey full of blessing, healing, and hope.  It is a hazy glimpse of God's incredible love found in the eyes of another human being. 

My husband and I take this seriously, and try to live out this kind of love each and every single day.  Some days are way harder than others, and many times we make mistakes.  But more than anything, we have committed to five things to keep our marriage strong...

1.  Friendship:  It's easier to be friends than lovers.  And those who start as friends, make the best lovers.  John and I founded our relationship on a really strong friendship.  I see the roots of that friendship sprouting in our marriage every day.  Each component to our friendship is like a string- and we have string after string tying us together and holding us close.  We share similar interests, hobbies, passions, and beliefs that keep us connected.  But we also have many differences- differences that we see as opportunities to learn, experience, and get to know one another even more.  We love spending time together, experiencing things with one another, and consider the other as our best friend.  We don't let our marriage cover over our friendship...it only accentuates it. 

2.  Laughter:  When I met John I thought he was the funniest man alive.  Now I know better :)  But the truth of the matter is he keeps me laughing and makes me smile.  We have so much fun together, and some of our most intimate memories involve us laughing until there are tears streaming down our faces.  There is a time and place in marriage for tears of frustration, anger, and sadness...but there should also be a time for tears of joy.  Make that a priority in your marriage.  

3.  Confession:  As hard as it is, John and I are getting really good at saying sorry.  But we've evolved.  We don't just say sorry anymore- because the word "sorry" doesn't always hold much meaning.  We have learned to confess to one another, to take ownership and responsibility of our sins, flaws, and weaknesses, and to apologize specifically for how we have hurt each other.  As humbling as this can be, confession has brought an intimacy between us that is far greater than any prideful "rightness" could ever bring.  We've learned to confess to one another, and then to forgive one another.   

4.  Affection:  While affection was the norm in our first 3 years of marriage- two children later, a lot has changed.  Affection is no longer the "norm", it's a priority.  It's an action and reaction to one another that involves being deliberate and choosing to make time for intimacy, romance, and quality time.  It's a part of our life that we've had to learn to integrate in our day to day, rather than just save for special date nights.  We give affection through our words, loving glances across the couch while reading books with the kids, holding hands in public or even across our dining room table.  We've learned to show affection through our words, our actions, and our attitudes with one another.  And let me encourage you...a little love goes a long, long way. 

5.  Connection:  With so many opportunities to "connect" throughout the day via Facebook, emails, text messages, and interactions with others- sometimes our need for connections is depleted by the time we are face to face with our spouse at the end of the day.  John and I do our best to save our connecting for one another...to save our favorite stories of the day with each other, to call and text each other throughout the day, and to always save the last few minutes before bed as our time to emotionally connect.  We're deliberate in having deep conversation with one another, and make the most of the time we're apart by thinking about each other and then sharing those thoughts when we get the chance. 

Marriage is not an easy road, and the proof of that is reflected in the many marriages around us that are falling apart.  But God's design for marriage is not to add burdens but to bring blessing into our lives.  May God give us the grace to honor our relationships with our spouse, to invest in them, and to show them the love of Jesus every opportunity we get.  And may we be blessed in return. 

Reclaiming Identity: What's Your Measuring Stick?

I wrote an article for Relevant about 5 Things I Wish I'd Known About Dating, that flooded my inbox with reader emails.  It was awesome to see how many young people connected with the myths I had struggled with through my dating years.

But one thing in particular that kept coming up again and again in my emails was the question about Identity in Christ.  In the article, I briefly mentioned the idea that your beliefs about yourself have a great impact on the kind of person you will end up with, and how you must learn to change your beliefs about yourself and root your identity in Christ.

I don't think any Christian would disagree with this idea of finding our identity in Jesus...but what does that actually look like?  More than anything else, the emails I received were asking that same question. 

This isn't an easy topic, and I don't think one blog post has the ability to do it justice (though I am working on an entire chapter about this in my book...even then I think I could turn this single topic into an entire book series!).  But I want to take a moment to address two parts to what finding identity in Christ has meant in my personal life.

1. Acknowledging my measuring stick:  A few years ago a good friend of mine used this term "measuring stick" and it has stuck in my mind ever since.  What is your measuring stick?  What is it that you measure yourself against to determine your value, your purpose, and your worth?  Is it friendships?  The approval of your parents?  Relationship Status?  Is it your job, your grades, or your accomplishments?  Your athletic abilities, talents, or physical appearance?  There are so many things that we can measure ourselves by...and that we do measure ourselves by each and every single day whether we are aware of them or not.  

But the problem with rooting our identity in these things is that they come and they go.  Their presence in our lives is inconsistent and always changing.  When my identity is grounded in my relationships, what happens when those relationships change?  When it is in my appearance, how beautiful, skinny, and fit is enough?  When it is in my accomplishments, what happens when I fail? 

Life can be a roller coaster of emotions when these things are our gauge.  Our identity suffers instability and insecurities measured up against such volatile things. 

2.  A new set of standards: Each and every day I have to wake up and replace my old measuring stick with my new one.  Rather than constantly living for who I want to be, I have learned to fix my eyes onto who I already am...according to my identity in Christ.  The identity He has set for me.  The identity He has created while I was just in the womb (Psalm 139). 

I have to take the old beliefs and measure them up to these higher standards.  God's word is filled with truths about who we are in Him, and it takes a lot of practice to start believing those truths, especially when we've been believing lies our whole lives.  Here are just some of the truths that have really helped me:

1. I am God's child- John 1:12
2.  I am Christ's friend: John 15:15
3.  I am noticed: Psalm 139
4.  God has good plans for my life: Jeremiah 29:11
5.  I am forgiven: Ephesians 1:8
6.  God has chosen me: Colossians 3:12
7.  I have purpose: Psalm 138:8
8. I am God's creative expression: Ephesians 2:10
9. I belong to God: 1 Peter 2:9
10. I am loved: 1 John 3:1

This is truth.  This is the measuring stick upon which our lives should be set.  Scripture is filled with thoughts and ideas about who we are and what it means to place our identity in Christ for those who are seeking.  It takes hard work to reclaim our identities from the enemy.  For some, it's a daily struggle...

But we will live out the kind of life that we believe we deserve.  And according to God's word...by His grace and because of His mercy, we deserve a whole lot.  Exchange your measuring stick for His.  Reclaim your identity...Rooted in Christ...Founded in truth.  

Real Relationships: How Deep Are You? Three Levels of Communication

Proverbs 24:26
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

Communication...

It's a pretty big deal to most people and one that I've received a lot of questions about.  It's essentially what relationships are made of- but ironically, it's the one thing many people have no idea how to do.

I once read an article by my good friend and coworker Steve, describing levels of communication.  I loved it so much that I use my own form of this model in a lot of my counseling appointments. 

You see, to every relationship there will always be the potential for three levels of communication. 

Level 1- Facts:  This is the by far the easiest level.  It's the form of communication that focuses in on the facts, and zooms out on the self.  It's one that is so basic that it can involve even a complete stranger.  "What's the weather like outside?"  "What did you do today?"  "Who won last night's game"  It comes in the form of superficial facts- the who, what, where, when, and why's of your life.  No vulnerability, no depth, just facts. 

Level 2- Ideas: Level 2 takes you a little deeper.  It's a little more of you involved in the conversation because it acknowledges your opinions and your ideas.  Your likes and dislikes.  It's a little harder to engage in this kind of communication, unless you feel some sort of power within a relationship.  Because in level 2, you are letting down your guard just a tiny bit more.  Instead of just talking about last night's score, you talk share about your favorite team.  Instead of just telling the facts about your day, you share your hopes and dreams for tomorrow.   

Level 3- Feelings:   I think this is my favorite level.  It makes sense though.  As a counselor, I find myself engaging in level 3 hour upon hour with my clients and their families.  Level 3 is the deepest level, digging right into the heart.  It's the part of communication that digs through the surface of level 1, and then burrows into the depths of level 2 until it finds it's way to the most vulnerable place of all.  It takes a lot to identify and acknowledge feelings.  And it takes even more to share them.  Fear, embarrassment, insecurity.  Joy, excitement, surprise.  Sadness, anger, and hurt. 

This is the level that most relationships are missing.  This is the level of which most communication is lacking. 

It's amazing how many clients I see who identify that they've never really engaged in level 3 with their loved ones.  That it's awkward and uncomfortable, unnatural and difficult. 

But in order for relationships to be significant you have to go deep.  And in order to go deep in relationships...you have to do the work.

Don't get me wrong.  You can't live in Level 3.  I know sometimes I wish I could.  My husband will sometimes joke with me after a long conversation filled with "feelings" talk that we've been in level 3 way too long and that it's "Time to come up for air, Deb..."

But you know what, he's so right.  Level 3 can be exhausting if you don't have balance.  Sometimes you have to come back up to level one, because that's what life is made of essentially.  A healthy relationship knows the value of every level of communication, and will work it's way through the levels all throughout the day.   

So go grab your loved one, and practice digging deep into the 3 levels of communication.

Happy Talking :)

*Send in your Real Relationship questions to debslessonslearned@gmail.com to get your question answered in the series before it ends!

Real Relationships:

I'm really honored and excited about the attention both these blog posts and my magazine articles are receiving lately.  Not surprisingly, topics having to do with relationships (marriage, dating, etc.) have been a huge hit.

There is something about relationships and connecting with others that hits the core of who we are as human beings.  Our God is one of love...and in order for love to exist, relationships must be present.  We are drawn to relationships, ultimately, because we are drawn to a God who made us to connect in such a way. 

With regard to relationships, my readers have bombarded my email inbox with questions and thoughts in response to the articles they have read both here on my blog and via Relevant Magazine.  Some of the stories you have shared and questions you have asked have both inspired, moved, and challenged me, and I want to expand on some of that feedback.

In light of this, I'm starting a relationship series called "Real Relationships".  For the next few months, my articles and posts will be commenting on some of my readers questions on relationships and I will be answering through the lens of my personal life and love, as well as my experience as a professional counselor.

If you're interested in taking part in this series and potentially having your question answered or thoughts shared, email me at debslessonslearned@gmail.com, with the title "Real Relationships" in the subject line, so I know that I have permission to share your thoughts or question.  All things shared will be anonymous, unless you specify in your email that you'd like to be mentioned.  Be sure to subscribe to my blog via email or follow me on Twitter (@DebFileta) to keep up with the latest thoughts and questions!

I'm excited to hear from you, and dig even deeper into some of these topics.  God has thought up a marvelous design for relationships, and hopefully through this series we can each align our lives and relationships a little more in tune with His plans.