Are you in love, or just in need?

1 John 4:18
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."

I was having a conversation today about the stark difference of being in love and being in need.  When you really get down to the roots of each kind of love, they are unmistakably polar opposites, although from the outside in they may appear the same. 

There are many who believe that they have fallen in love, only to realize that this love is purely based on need.  A need to be wanted, to be valued, to be affirmed.  A need to be taken care of, to be nurtured, to be safe.  Need-love drives you toward another out of your disparity.  It binds you together by its codependency and unites you in its fear.  It takes two empty people, and fools them into thinking that they can fill one another up.  But in the end, fulfillment never comes.  In the end, their desperate needs cause them to feel more and more depleted.  In the end, their needs grow even greater in the shadow of a false and dying love.   

True love is never based on need, it is birthed out of covenant.  It is founded in commitment.  It's a love that speaks permanence and unconditional positive regard because it's a love that is based on choice.  It loves even when it doesn't feel like loving, and gives until it can give no more.  It loves the one before it because of who they are, yet continues to love because of who it is.  It is an unrelenting, passionate, fierce and growing love that simply loves for the sake of loving...a love that loves to love, rather than a love that loves to be loved. 

It is a love that offers something not a love that only takes. 

It is a love that wants nothing from the other but the opportunity to love them better.

True love is a reflection of a God who truly loved...completely, wholly, perfectly.

But it is a love that can be found here on earth, in glimpses, in moments...moments of sheer bliss, utter selflessness.  It is a love that reminds us of the Source of our perfect love.  And points us back to Him for more.  The Perfect love that casts out all fears, all doubts, and all needs. 

Because only in Him can our needs be met...and only then, are we free to truly love...

Lord, help me to love in this way...

Rainbow Covenant::

Genesis 9:13-14
I have set my rainbow in the clouds and it will be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.  Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and a rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you…

John and I went fishing yesterday.  For those of you who know either of us, that idea in and of itself is probably all you need to be humored.  Our idea of the great outdoors involves sipping on cold drinks and looking out the window of our cozy hotel room.  But nonetheless, we were invited to a gorgeous lake owned by a friend, and it sounded like a good time.

We loaded onto a big red tractor (I think it’s called a tractor), and headed through cornfields on the way to the lake.  Sure enough, just as they said it would be- it was breathtaking.  The beautiful lake sat in a country bed of greenery, far away from any possible man-made distractions. 

We got our fishing gear and headed out to fish.  As much as I’d love to share about our fishing experience, I’ll spare you the details and move on to the best part (but first, can I just say I caught my first fish within 3 minutes of fishing…).  After a few hours, the sunlight slowly slipped away and gray clouds began to move in. 

Then the most beautiful thing I have ever seen appeared in the clouds.  It’s presence came unexpectedly, without warning, but all of a sudden- there it was.  As colorful and brilliant as though it were hand painted into the canvas of the sky.  So close to us that it felt as though we could have reached out and touched it.  Causing us all to put down our gear, close our mouths, and just gaze in awe.  A beautiful rainbow. 

I’ve been thinking about this rainbow since yesterday evening.  As beautiful as that rainbow was, more beautiful to me is the profound promise that it symbolizes: God’s faithfulness.  Through the rainbow, God established his covenant with Noah.  Whenever the clouds of doubt and suffering would begin to settle, the rainbow would appear, piercing the gray haze with it’s brilliance.  

The beauty of a covenant- is that it is not dependent on us.  The beauty of a covenant is that it solely represents the one who established it, not tainted by the give and take that comes with agreements.  The beauty of a covenant, is that it is based on God’s faithfulness and not our own.  I am grateful for this.  I am grateful because I know my tendency to wander.  I know my tendency to worry.  I know my tendency to allow the clouds of fear and doubt to settle into the deepest parts of my heart and mind.  It is in those moments, that God’s covenant rainbow illuminates the darkness of my infidelity, reminding me again of His faithfulness. 

Maybe you, too, have wandered far.  Maybe you have struggled with the fear and doubt that comes with peering into the future.  Maybe you have allowed the darkness of self-sufficiency to dim your vision.  Maybe you have wondered if God even remembers you.  Maybe you have feared that He would not come through.

Today, take time to remember His covenant with you.  Take time to remember the things He has promised, whatever they may be.  Take time to allow yourself to enter into the deepest parts of your doubt and your fears- inviting His rainbow covenant to shine through.  Reminding you of His unending love and fidelity.  

Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness.