Contentment Day 6: Are you still Complaining??

Philippians 2:14-16
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God, without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars int he universe...

If you are joining us for the first time- you're catching us on day 6 of a 12 days series on contentment.  Each day we have uncovered one step toward achieving a content life.  Day by day we've seen the secrets to contentment that Paul learned in his journey of faith.

Today we look at a difficult passage.  It's a difficult passage because it's something that each one of us struggles with on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis.  Complaining.

I have a friend who truly complains about everything.  He has a beautiful house, wonderful wife and child, a steady job and is in good health...but you'd never believe it by talking to him.  Every conversation we have seems like a list of all the terrible things that are going on in his life.  So much so, that he's started actually believing that list.  His negative attitude has made it's way into his heart...and frankly, he's not much fun to be around.  

I read a book on contentment by Linda Dillow.  In her book she talks about a missionary woman who passed away after many fruitful years of ministry in Africa.  She had lived a full life, serving God in the hundred-degree, no air-condition, jungles wih very miserable living conditions.  After she died her daughter found hidden deep in her journal what she called the "Prescription to Contentment":

-Never allow yourself to complain about anything-not even the weather.

-Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.

-Never compare your lot with another's.

-Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.

-Never dwell on tomorrow-remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

 

I love this list because it perfectly describes all the things that tend to drag us into the pit of discontent.  Just like my friend, the reality is, that which we fill our minds with will eventually seep into our hearts.  The toxic seeds of complaining will eventually take root in our lives and we will find ourselves living in a forest of despair, misery, and depression.  

Another reason I appreciate this prescription to contentment is because it points out some of the things we as believers do so innocently sometimes.  I mean, who of us hasn't complained about the weather?  The list could go on and on.  

 

The truth of the matter is, each one of our lives are filled with both positives and negatives.... complaining is simply the habit of choosing to spot-light those negatives, magnifying them to ourselves and to those around us.  In other words, it's the prescription for pain. 

Not only are we left in a state of misery, when we allow our mouths to complain we are portraying our God in a misleading way.  We are failing to shine like starts in a depraved world, but rather, conforming to it. 

Take inventory.  Out of all the words you speak in a day: what is coming out of your mouth these days?  What are you sharing with the world around you?  It it something that will lift up and encourage others?  Or is it something that will plant the seeds of bitterness and discontent in your heart and the hearts of those around you? 

I'll be the first to confess...it's time for a major change. 

 

Contentment:

Day 1: Confidence in Christ

Day 2: The sting of Competition

Day 3: Courage in Life & Death

Day 4: Conceit- The Messiah Complex

Day 5: Considering Others

 

 

Contentment Day 5: Considering Others (Hyu-mi-le-te)

Philippians 2:3-4
"...but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of other.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant..."

Yesterday we took a look at the Messiah complex, and the dangers of conceit which robs us of our ability to love and serve and strips us of our contentment.  The thing is, it doesn't end there.  Once we are free of conceit we are able to move into the next step of contentment: considering others.

Paul takes it one step further as he talks to the church in Philippi about joy and contentment.  He challenges them to put some walk to their talk by not just saying they are selfless- but by showing it.  The thing about true humility is that it is only proved in a persons life by their actions.  You can't proclaim that you are a humble person.  That doesn't work.  In fact, the ironic thing about humility is that by proclaiming it, you are acting out the very antithesis of humility.  *"One of the hardest things in the world is to stop being the prodigal son without turning into the elder brother"

And Paul calls us to do just that.  To live a life of love, service, and compassion as we exist with those around us.  Considering others.  In my opinion, this is the fifth step to contentment. 

There is truly something about considering the needs of others that draws us miraculously outside of ourselves.  There is something freeing about stepping out of our selfishness and stepping into the role of a servant.  Just like our Lord, who made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant...just for the sake of love.  *"When Jesus came in the form of a servant, He was not disguising who God is....He was REVEALING Him...."

And this is what we are called to do.  To reveal God to the world around us. 

Paul is calling us to this kind of life because he knows that it is only through service that we will truly find the way to contentment.  Only by stepping out of ourselves will we be able to find the joy that we were looking for.  *"The reason we help others is not because we are strong and they need us; it is because if we don't help them, we will end up a hopeless relic".  We will end up selfish, cold-hearted, and blind to those around us.  Spiritually, we will end up dead. 

May God give us the strength to take our eyes off of ourselves for just a second, and look around to the needs of those around us.  May He free us from the addictions of self and usher us into the humility of our Lord.  



*Appropriate Smallness: The Practice of Servanthood.  The Life You've Always Wanted, by John Ortberg.

Day 4 of Contentment: Conceit- The Messiah Complex

Philippians 2:1-3

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit…

One of my favorite stories is cited by John Ortberg in his book “The Life You’ve Always Wanted”.  In this book he exposes the story of three chronic psychiatric patients at a hospital in Ypsilanti, Michigan. 

Each one of these men had the steadfast belief that they were truly the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.  They all maintained the fact that this world revolved around them.  

Ortberg discusses the research and treatment that went into these men, with a so called “Messiah Complex” .  In an attempt to bring them back to reality, Dr. Rokeach confined them all within the limits of the same walls and watched them as they ate together, slept together, and communed together.  These findings were recorded in his book “The Three Christs of Ypsilanti”.

Crazy, isn’t it?  To think that humans could live with such a delusion.  To think that people could actually believe that the world revolves around them.  To think that there could be someone who actually carries selfishness and conceit everywhere they go.  To think that the bitter root of pride could find its way into their hearts and slowly begin to seep into their lives.  

Well…when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound so crazy after all, does it?  I think that’s one of the reasons I love this story, and the commentary by John Ortberg.  It is an incredible reminder that we are all victims at some level of The Messiah Complex.  

God knows this about His people…and this issue is addressed time and time again in Scriptures.  We are challenged as children of God to run from pride and conceit, to consider others better than ourselves, and to put others first in our lives.  Paul reiterates in Chapter 2 of Philippians by calling us to do NOTHING out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Nothing…

And this is why I believe that the fourth step to contentment is truly that: striving to live a life free of conceit.  A life where, as Ortberg puts it, we learn to be “appropriately small”:

“The bitter irony is, the very delusion they clung to so tenaciously is what cut them off from life.  To stop being the messiah sounded terrifying, but it would have been their salvation if they had only tried.  If Leon, Joseph, and Clyde could have stopped competing to see who gets to be the messiah, they could have become Leon, and Joseph, and Clyde…

Your world could grow infinitely bigger if you were only willing to become ‘appropriately small’”.  

The danger of pride is that it inhibits our ability to love, to serve, and to give.  It sets us up as “greater than” and eventually sets us apart from both God and man.  We find ourselves alone…isolated…and inaccessible to those around us.  And at the end of that lonely road we find that we are starved of contentment.  

"God's great, holy joke about the Messiah complex is this: Every human being who has ever lived has suffered from it- except one.  And He was the Messiah"

May God save us from the prison of conceit.  May He open our eyes to the pride in our hearts and teach us to live a life of humility.  May He show us Himself in such a powerful way that we cannot be confused as to who the true Messiah really is.  

Lord, save us from ourselves. 

Day 3 to Contentment: Courage (Why Paul was NOT a Scaredy Cat)

Philippians 1:20

²⁰ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴ but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

Courage.  That is the definite theme of day three of contentment: because it is courage that gives us the strength and power to move forward in times where the temptation is to cease, and it is courage that allows us to look ahead even when this moment is all that can be seen.

Paul was a man of courage.  Courage in his life, but even more so, courage in his death.  Courage that stemmed from the fact that this life was not the end of the road, but only just the beginning.  Courage that understood that though this world may fail him, there was a God who never would.  Courage that believed that the joys of this world were nothing in comparison to what was to come.  And that the suffering of this day would soon be drowned out by the beauty of the days to come. 

Because he always knew there was more to this life, Paul was able to really live.  Ironic, isn't it?  When you can see this life as just the journey toward the final destination, all of a sudden things look brighter.  All of a sudden you feel stronger.  All of a sudden the glimpse of the eternal erases the woes and worries of the temporal.  And you find yourself filled with an unexplainable strength.  Unfathomable joy.  Unexpected contentment.  

This is true courage.  The ability to live this life, content in the face of whatever comes our way...content because we see this life as but a moment in the scope of forever. 

May God grant us the ability to see past that which is temporal and look toward the eternal.  May He give us the grace to remember that this world really is not out home.  And may He give us the courage to live this life to its fullest- realizing that death is only the door to our final destination.

“Thou hast made us for Thyself and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee” -St. Augustine

Follow along on our journey to contentment: 

Day 1:  Confidence

Day 2: Competition

Contentment Day 2: The Sting of Competition

Philippians 1:15-18 (Click here to read the entire chapter)

¹⁵ It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶ The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸ But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Welcome to Day 2 of our study.  We’re studying the book of Philippians for the next 10 days toward Christmas, in an attempt to grasp the lessons learned by Paul on his journey toward living a content life.  Through this study may God grant us the ability to see past society’s obsession with commercialism and materialism.  From wanting more of things, to wanting more of Him. 

Our first day took a look at the confidence Paul had in Jesus Christ and how his life was founded in that stability.  Today, we look at something a little different- something we need to purge from our hearts and from our lives: Competition. 

This passage has always struck me as peculiar.  Paul is discussing those who preach the gospel out of rivalry rather than love- the very opposite of what the gospel stands for.  I never understood why anyone would share God’s word with others out of a selfish heart…until I grew up into a woman, and began to see the twinges of competition and selfishness in my own life.

It’s true, like it or not, you at some point in your life have struggled with the idea of competition and comparison with those around you.  We are all chronic victims of this terrible disease.  And it is this disease that will lead us directly into the pit of unhappiness. 

Whether competing toward “winning souls” and preaching the gospel like those Paul mentioned in this chapter, or competing for the highest scores, best physique, or popularity…comparing yourself with those around you will either lead to destruction & misery or vanity & pride.  There is always someone greater, wiser, and more beautiful than you - and there is always someone less than. 

The sting of competition is so deadly because it causes us to live our lives passively: out of reactions rather than actions.  And, ironic though it may be, reaction (by the very nature of the word) always comes in second.

God calls us to live our lives proactively, based on the individual calling He has given each one of us and the deliberate way He has made us.  He calls us to revel in who we are rather than rival at the lives of others. 

May you have the strength to close your eyes to the lives of others, and open your eyes to live the life God has given to you, to be present in it, and to be thankful for it.  Amen. 

Contentment Day 1: The Gift of Confidence

Philippians 1:6

…being confident of this: that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ.

Intro: [The book of Philippians is a beautiful letter written by the apostle Paul during his arrest in Rome as he awaited his trial.  The ironic thing about this book is that though he is in chains while writing, and after beatings and humiliation, the ongoing theme of this book can be summed up by one word: Joy.  

Paul was a man who had learned how to live a life of contentment- no matter the circumstances. 

As we dig into these words, I pray that his spirit of joy and peace will also saturate our lives, allowing us to take in our lives with contentment and satisfaction.]

In reading the book of Philippians, I’m struck by the many things Paul learned on his journey to contentment.  The reality of contentment is that it is just that: a journey.  It isn’t a magic potion or a miraculous gift.  Like Paul points out, it is a learned trait.  It’s a habit…and a habit of unhappiness in a person’s life can only be overcome by a habit of contentment.  

It seems to me that one step toward learning contentment is found in the concept of confidence.  Paul had an unwavering confidence that stemmed from outside of his-self.  He stood on the solid ground of what Christ could do in his life and in the life of others and nothing could shake that belief.  

No matter what he went through, or what others around him went through, Paul was sure that Christ would carry him through…He would finish what He began, there was no doubt about that in Paul’s mind.  And it makes sense.

I mean, after such a miraculous interaction with the power of Jesus Christ, Paul was changed in an instant.  That powerful moment ingrained in him a confidence that could not be moved.  

I want that kind of confidence.  I want to believe that no matter what is going on in my life, that I serve a God who will carry it to completion…and not just any kind of completion, but something that ends in good- because that is who God is.  

I want to believe with all my heart that God is able to complete even the most difficult of situations and bring me through to the end.  I want a confidence that stems outside of my own power and will- but that is grounded firmly in the knowledge of who Jesus is and what He has done and will do in my life.  

And why not?  Paul’s transformation is not any more miraculous than my own.  A blind woman who now can see.  A lost soul who was compassionately found.  A dying spirit that was rescued from the grave.  I have seen that God is good, and I have seen what He can do…so why is it so difficult some days to have confidence in what He WILL do in my life and in my situation?  

When our eyes our fixed on Him, when we are confident in what He can do…no situation or circumstance can take away our joy.   

This is why I believe that the first key to contentment is found in confidence in Christ.  Because in this, we lay down our power and our pride, we lay down our trust in ourselves, we lay down what we know to be true and what we can see with our eyes in the moment- and proclaim that Christ can and will complete all that is good in our lives. 

Be confident.  He who began a good work in your life WILL carry it to completion…so step out of the way, and let Him.  

May God grant you the gift of confidence in who He is this Christmas season. 

Praying to Moe, Curly, and Larry:

Philippians 4:6
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

A few months ago, I was having a chat with my cousin Charlene.  We were discussing some issues that were going on in each of our lives, sharing our struggles and our concerns.  In the middle of our conversation, she stopped mid-sentence and said something that really challenged me and has caused me to be more deliberate in my life.  


"Debs, I want to stop praying to people"....


It was such a profound thought that it actually caught me off guard.  

I want to stop praying to people.  What she meant by that is something that we are all guilty of.  How many times do we take our needs and pour our hearts out to others...neglecting at the end of the line to pour these things out to God, the only one who can really do anything about them.  

Don't get me wrong, I believe there is something powerful about connecting with others in an intimate way, sharing struggles and allowing others to walk by our side through them.  But so often, we allow our venting to others to take the need of speaking to our Lord. 

We are so "talked out" by the end of the day.  And many times, all that talking actually makes us feel better....temporarily, of course.  Because when the line of people comes to it's end, we find that our problem is still lingering...

I was challenged that day to take my words more seriously, sharing them with a few selected friends...but more importantly, I was challenged to be deliberate in bringing my needs to Jesus.  I want to learn to vent to Him more than I vent to others.  I want it to become a natural and even necessary part of my life.  Because at the end of the day, He is the only one who holds the keys to healing, power, and change.