A Christian Counselor's reflections on faith, life, love and God in the day to day...
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Most of the Things You Worry About Never Happen...But if They Do:
Acts 7:54-60
54 When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. 55 But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 56 “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
57 At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, 58 dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.
59 While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.
What are your greatest fears?
What are the things that keep you up at night...just worrying? Worry: the act of thinking negatively about things (that might I add...may never happen...).
If you're anything like me, it's easy to let your brain get carried away and your mind wander. All of the things that could happen, that might happen, that should happen. What if they do? What would I do? How would I survive?
And so we busy ourselves with the worries of our world...
This passage in Acts was a so refreshing for me to read and discuss yesterday in our bible study small group. I know it's usually focused on the martyrdom of a man, who gave it all for Jesus...but for me, I saw it in a totally different light.
I saw a man who faced one of the greatest fears ever known to man...the fear of death. A man who may have had a wife and children, family and friends...who suddenly found himself facing the painful sting of death...reaching the moment where life as he knew it would come to an end.
Sometimes I fear death. It's all around us. Grandparents dying of old age...parents becoming ill...tragedies of wives, husbands, and children...sometimes it makes me fear death too.
But more than that...I fear other things. Smaller than death. Illness...loneliness...depression. Pain...betrayal...conflict. The list goes on and on. There are so many things to fear if we are looking for them. One reason I love this passage so much is because to me, it's a model of how we should face our greatest fears.
It's the story of a man who had to face his greatest fears...and the story of a God who wouldn't let him face those fears alone.
It's a story of the man who did not have the strength to look death in the eye...and the story of a God who became His strength.
You see, in the worst moment of this man's life- God showed up. At the most horrific second...Jesus was right there. He blinded Stephen's vision from the terrors of this world until all that he could see was the glory of God. In the worst moment...He became his vision. He became all that he could see.
I am filled with hope as I walk through this life that God will give me what I need...when I need it. Sometimes I allow myself to worry, and think "I don't have the strength..." rather, I should be thankful that I don't have the strength...because I don't need it!
You see, God doesn't give you the strength to face your fears...until the moment you have to face them. He doesn't give you the ability to handle your worries...but He gives you the wisdom to hand your worries to Him.
"Even though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me..."
Be assured, as you look ahead at the fires of life...and know that as you walk through the fire...you will never be alone.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Isolated Christian:
Hebrews 10:25
Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
The irony of this generation is that we are some of the most "socially connected" people, yet more than ever we are battling the grave of isolation. Just the other day someone was sharing with me the paradox that the more she browses Facebook, the more isolated and alone she actually feels because it seems as though the world around her is all connecting...without her.
We are longing for relationships. For true, genuine, heart to heart connections with others. It's one of the desires of my heart as well. I was telling my husband that just the other day. We're in a season of life where family is a priority with raising a toddler and with a baby on the way. It seems as though our longing for community has kind of taken a back seat, and we're feeling the effects of that. Isolation is a relentless monster, willing to pounce the moment he gets a chance. And lately, he's been pouncing.
I've noticed, though, that there are three kinds of people when it comes to techniques in facing the trap of isolation. Some compare, some complain...and then there are those who actually take the time to connect.
The Comparing One: It's easy to compare, isn't it? And now with social networking as incredible as it is, it's WAY easy to compare. Photos, events, parties, get-togethers, status updates...with one click of a button you can be lining yourself up against every friend in your queue. Comparing makes the world around you seemingly incredible...while the world you live in becomes smaller, and darker, and lamer. Comparing takes your eyes off of what you want, and puts them on what others have. And it's a pit that is sure to leave you feeling more and more alone with every passing thought.
The Complaining One: We can all think of someone who fits in this category, and like Michael Jr. says, if you can't...then maybe they're thinking of you! People who whine and complain about how they are miserable and alone, how no one wants to hang out with them, thinks of them, or includes them in anything. They are the passive ones, who live their life to react to what others do...and most of the time, that reacting is in negative form. Complainers don't get very far in connecting, because by the very nature of complaining- it pushes people away.
The Connecting One: Rather than being reactive to the world around them, Connecters are proactive. When it comes to fellowship and community, they play offense not just defense. They don't wait for the desert of isolation to become the norm, because the moment they feel it, they are picking up the phone to call a friend. Connecters are the people who seem to get 1,000 text messages a day (unbeknownst to us, they've sent 5,000 text that day). They're the ones who have people over, plan dinner dates, call a friend for coffee, or join the church softball team just to stay connected. They practice hospitality, and don't wait to be invited before they take the opportunity to invite. They ask questions, make others feel important, and serve with all of their hearts.
I know some connectors, and I'm inspired by them, because at the end of the day, I really believe it's the life God calls us to live. Jesus was a connecter, taking the time to really give to those around Him without waiting around for them to give to Him. And the miraculous thing about people like that is when you refresh others in that way...you find yourself supernaturally refreshed.
I want to be proactive this year, rather than simply reactive. I don't wait to wait around for someone to notice me, to love me, and to connect to me. I want to be the one who shakes hands with people at church, invites a new couple over for lunch to get to know them, has a neighborhood get together, calls a friend just to see how they are doing. I want to be a person who is connecting with others and loving others the way Jesus loves me. I don't want the trap of isolation to take over and lead me into believing the lie that I am all alone...because in all honesty, lonesomeness is the fastest road to sinfulness, whether it be through my mind or in my heart.
I want this year to be a defining year for me when it comes to battling isolation. It's time to make some real connections, it's time to squelch the disease of isolation.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Marbles in Glass Jars: Living a Life that Counts in 2012
Philippians 3:8
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.
Come over to our house and you will find something new tucked away in the back corner of our bookshelf, behind the picture frame and above the books. There sits a clear glass jar, and a bag of red marbles in a bag right beside.
This year we decided to do something tangible as a reminder of what it is that we are really living for day in and day out.
The past few years I would have to say that our jobs have been considerably demanding. I- a counselor part time and a stay at home mom, he- a resident working and studying many hours. On top of this balancing a marriage, maintaining a home (cooking, cleaning, groceries, laundry...) the task of 24/7 parenting, spending time with family, leisure activities, and making sure we also have a social life. I'm sure you can relate, life can get really busy. And the busyness can easily take center stage.
I love this passage in Philippians because it's a genuine reminder from a man who accomplished so much in this world- that none of that accomplishment actually matters...in light of knowing Jesus and making Him known.
Sometimes our worldly tasks become our sole focus- rather than what they were meant to be- only a means to an end. For us as believers- that end is nothing less than loving God and sharing his love with the world around us. Everything else we do on this earth is just the avenue by which we get there. It's just the journey, not the final destination.
I think sometimes we get too comfortable with this world and our roles in it...not realizing that one day, all of these things will fade away, and only one thing will remain.
So back to our glass jar. This jar, for us, is a representation of the things that really matter in this world. It's a reminder of what we were made to do. Every time one of us shares the love of Jesus with someone in our lives, we place a marble in that jar as a reminder to continue living this life to store up our treasures in Heaven (and stop worrying so much about our 401K).
I want 2012 to be a year in which I look back and say that God used me for great things: even if those great things mean smiling at a homeless man, serving at a women's shelter, or praying with a struggling neighbor. I want to redefine my definition of "greatness" this year, so that it is no longer in line with the things of this world and completely in line with heavenly things. Great things are in store. Will you join me?
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Gratitude vs.Bragitude: Fighting the Spotlight Mentality
Luke 18:11
The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector.
I have to be honest and say that I really feel blessed in my life. Mostly because I serve a really good God, and partly because I'm learning that the gift of contentment is one that really must be earned with blood, sweat and tears.
With all that said, this journey toward contentment has allowed me- for the first time, to have the ability to take the focus off of myself. God has been really challenging me to a growing awareness of the people around me....their joys, their struggles.
They say early adolescents go through a developmental season where they feel that the focus of the universe is on them. When they walk into a room, the spotlight is on them. It's as though they are living their life as the star of their own play, and everyone else is in the background- secondary characters.
Sometimes I think that stage goes beyond middle school. Sometimes, I think there is a fraction of that little adolescent living inside of us always...battling for the spotlight.
Lately, I've been really trying to fight that urge inside of me.
I heard a pastor the other day on national TV say that he is so "Thankful" for his amazing car, beautiful wife, financial prosperity, and incredible ministry. "God is good", he said.
Not sure why, but something about that rubbed me the wrong way. It brought me back to those middle school days of fighting for the spotlight. Me, me, me....thank you God that my life is amazing, thank you that I'm rich, beautiful, and smart...thank you, that my life is not like HIS...
I'm grateful for what I have...but I'm learning that there is a difference between gratitude, and "bragitude".
One puts the spotlight on me....the other puts the spotlight on Christ.
This is something I need to work on daily. To fight the Pharisee urges of glorifying the good in my life for the sake of praise and recognition, and accept the calling to lay those things down before the feet of Jesus....remembering that it is all because of Him.
I'm learning to have an awareness of those around me, to approach them with grace and with love, taking the spotlight off of me, and willingly putting it where it truly belongs.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Stop comparing yourselves to supermodels and pornstars...
I read the greatest article I've read in a while today by Russell D. Moore. It was an incredible calling to women to really take a look at WHO they are submitting their lives, hearts, and values to.
The past few months I've written many articles on sexuality, body image, and male-female relationships- and this article ties all of those ideas together in a very profound way.
Please, man or woman, take the time to read this article, but most importantly, take the time to live it out.
Best Article Ever: Women, Stop submitting to Men
The past few months I've written many articles on sexuality, body image, and male-female relationships- and this article ties all of those ideas together in a very profound way.
Please, man or woman, take the time to read this article, but most importantly, take the time to live it out.
Best Article Ever: Women, Stop submitting to Men
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Selflessness, Interviews, and Naked Taxi Cab Drivers
Matthew 5:40
If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.
A couple of years ago I had joined my husband on residency interviews as he was looking for a place to land a job after graduating from school. Usually the interview process is really intense, full of questions, conversations, and a whole lot of professionalism. The dress code is top notch, suits and ties are a must- and even ties of a certain color. You never want to stick out too much, or blend in too much.
But through that entire process, I heard a story that changed my life. A story that I will never forget as long as I live.
At one of the interview dinners, we met a young man who had just completed his 2nd year of residency. He was grateful for the opportunity to be at the hospital that he was currently working at. And he told the story of the person who made it happen.
A couple years ago as he made his way down the interview trail, there was a snow storm that delayed his flight into Baltimore. Due to that delay, he had to switch flights at the last minute in order to make it to his interview the following morning. Fortunately, he did land. Unfortunately, he landed at 2 in the morning...only to find that his entire luggage had been lost- tie, suit, shoes, and all.
On his way to the hotel he was making some frantic phone calls in the taxi, trying to make contact with friends and family to think of a way he could avoid showing up at this interview in a sweat suite (a sweaty one, at that!).
He reached his hotel to no avail, discouraged, tired, and feeling quite helpless. As he got out of the cab, the taxi driver got out with him, and began to undress! You can imagine the reaction of this student- unsure to what was going on.
"I want you to have my suit", he said, having overheard his conversation from the driver's seat.
And he proceeded to strip down to his boxers, giving the young man his shirt, suit, tie...and even his shoes.
The young man was humbled, embarrassed, and amazed at the generosity of this complete stranger. He gratefully took the suit, with tears in his eyes, and hugged the taxi driver goodbye.
Just hearing that story changed my life.
I was so challenged to really consider what message I am sending with the way I live my life. We as Christians talk about being thankful and grateful during this Thanksgiving and Holiday season. Thank you Lord for what you have given me, thank you Lord for all of your blessings...while clinging on tight to our belongings and being selfish and self-absorbed. Turning an eye to the poor and needy, and living in our little bubbles of blessing. What is the point of thanks-giving if we hoard our blessings to ourselves?
I was so challenged by the heart of this taxi cab driver- who was so willing to go above and beyond to meet an immediate need...though it was the need of a complete stranger. This was the heart of the taxi-cab driver, what then should be the heart of a Christian, of a follower of Christ?
Does my life reflect that kind of heart? This is my challenge this holiday season...to step out of my bubble of blessing and actually do something with what I have been given. To hold it with an open hand, and to live with an open heart. May you be challenged to do the same.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Take THAT Black Friday:
Matthew 6:19-20
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.
21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Let me be honest: my heart was SO divided today. Like Matthew 6 reminds us: where your treasure, there your heart will be also. Black Friday is always one of those days that really tests the state of my heart. There is just something about the idea of hordes of people shopping for incredible bargains that really gets me going!
I don't think there is anything innately wrong about Black Friday, shopping, or finding great deals. But this morning I noticed a really strange struggle inside of my heart as I was looking at the ads and watching the commercials. On one hand, I am trying my best to simplify my life and focus my priorities on things that really matter. I really want my life to reflect what's really important to me. I want the treasures of doing God's work, giving to those in need, and being united with Christ to be the things that drive my adrenaline and give me joy.
But on the other hand...that iphone would totally beat using this old cell....And that is a really cute sweater.
You know what I mean? It's a constant battle to consider what I really want, and what I actually need. And man, there are soooooo many things that I really want. It's a battle to continually remember to keep my eyes on heavenly things rather than on this world, to invest in the the kingdom of God and people who are hungry, poor, and alone...rather than my wardrobe. It's a battle that I fail time and time again, but one that I'm not willing to give up on. Because the few times I do win...it feels overwhelmingly right. It's what I was created to do. It's the treasure I was made to possess.
It feels so good to invest in the right things. I want to be a person who does more of that. I want to be a person who's checkbook clearly reflects the state of my heart and the truth to where my treasure lay.
Take that, Black Friday.
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