Friday, February 5, 2010

All the Single Ladies: A Comparison of Bird Mating and Human Mating

[This post is from early in my blogging days, but I thought it was worth a second look:]

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" (Genesis 2:18)

A few days ago, my husband and I were watching the television show called Planet Earth.  You may be familiar with it.  Videographers enter into some of the most intricate and untread parts of our planet and capture it on film.  This particular episode was about animals of the jungles.  How does this pertain to single ladies?  Well, I’m getting there…

One thing is for sure: you cannot help but witness the extravagant displays on this earth without standing in awe of the Creator himself.  God was so deliberate as he intimately wove the fabrics of this earth together, from animals to plants to human beings.  I believe that we can learn so much about life by getting a glimpse into His creation.

You see, as I was watching the dynamics of jungle birds mating in this particular episode, and as I listened to the commentator discuss the procedure- I couldn’t help but parallel these truths with our own human relationships.  In looking at birds, I wonder if we’ve somehow gotten it all backwards.  Let me give you a few of my observations:

The first thing I noticed was that it was the male birds who were extravagant and ornate.  Bright and beautiful colors and patterns, lavish feathers of all shapes and sizes, loud and boisterous chirps and calls.  But the females, well, they were “modest” as the commentator pointed out.  Plain in their appearance.  Dull colors, quiet chirps.  They were out simply to be won, with no need to dress or impress.  They had an innate knowledge that they were valuable, and that they deserved great things.  And so they sat, quietly, waiting confidently for the pursuit. 

The second thing I noticed was that the females were very picky.  Even with the bright colors and bold noises of the males, it would take nothing short of an outstanding performance for them to even have a shot with the highly valued females.  They would settle for nothing less than the best.  Nothing less than magnificence.

The third thing I observed was that there was no desperation on the part of the female birds.  No need to make sure they got to the right place, were wearing the right feathers, or had the right body style.  They sat patiently, just where they were at.  They knew that in the end the males would find them because they were made to find them.  And in the end, it always worked out that way. 

I look at these standard in light of my past experiences.  I look at them in light of the experiences of countless women I meet every day in my counseling office.  I look at them in light of story after story of broken hearts and a desperate desire to be loved, to be valued. It seems as though our culture has really set us up for despair.

We live in a society that is completely opposed to this model of pursuit.  Call me old fashioned, but I am convinced that we’ve adapted a currency of value that has nothing to do with true love, and everything to do with sex appeal, fashion, and beauty. A culture that has fooled women into believing that they must earn the right to be loved.   A culture in which women have become the pursuers rather than the pursued- dancing around, ruffling our feathers, showing off our colors in the desperation of finding someone to love u- all the while trying to convince ourselves that we are worth being loved.  A culture of women no longer believing they have the right to be picky, but rather to, “take what you can get”.  A culture that has forgotten that they are worth remarkable, and that they are worth magnificent. 

As I reflect on these things I’m left with prayer:

Women, may you be challenged to acknowledge and accept your true value in the eyes of your Creator.  May you be strengthened to settle for nothing less than seeing that level of worth in the eyes of the one who pursues you.  

Men, may you be challenged to become more and more magnificent and remarkable as you draw closer to the One who created you, relying on his sanctification at work in your life to produce in you this level of splendor. 

And may you then come together in the beautiful unity of relationships.  A beauty that reflects the majesty and the brilliance of our Creator. 

All the single ladies…be encouraged. 


  1. Not only should single ladies be encouraged by this post. Awesome thoughts...great reminders. Once again, thank you.
    I enjoyed it much, and gleaned renewed perseverance through this.

  2. Brad I am so glad that not only the single ladies could benefit from this post :) Thanks for the encouragement, I am honored to hear that God has granted you a renewed perseverance through these thoughts....that's so awesome.

  3. Deb,
    On a serious note, nice applications from the bird species for us to ponder.
    On a not so serious note, maybe this explains why a lot of men feel hen-pecked. :)


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