Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Two Are Better Than One: (Hang in there you Single ones....)

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. 

[***Disclaimer: If you are single...don't tune me out.  Read to the end.  There's some good application for you at the very end...and try not to gag in the meantime]

Today is my wedding anniversary.  My husband John and I have been married for three wonderful years.  It's hard to believe that the time has gone by so quickly, yet at the same time it feels as though we have been together forever.  It feels right.  It has since the beginning. 

Many years ago I didn't believe in soul-mates.  I wasn't sure if God had one person planned out for each of Adam and Eve.  But when I met John my perspective on this took on a transformation.  It feels too right for it to be some sort of coincidence or "good match".  It feels like destiny...what I was made for.  I was made for him, and he for me.

I used to believe that singleness was the "better route".  Don't get me wrong, I had a strong desire for marriage, but I always wondered whether or not I was sacrificing my relationship with God in order to be married.  I'm glad my perspective changed on this topic, because in marriage I have found depth to my relationship with God that I could have never imagine existed. 

Two are better than one in so many ways.  First of all, my husband encourages me.  He picks me up when I am down.  He fuels my spiritual fire when it feels like burning out.  He makes me laugh when I am sad, and challenges me to keep going when my strength has run out. 

Secondly, my husband sharpens me.  He is the mirror I need to see my flaws...some flaws I would have never been able to see alone.  Because, deep down we all think we're perfect.  We need someone to give us a reality check every now and again and gently remind us of who we really are. 

Thirdly, my husband loves me.  His love is the most tangible thing I have ever experienced to the love of Jesus Christ.  In so many ways, when I look at my husband, I see the qualities of Jesus.  He challenges me to love him in this kind of way.  To love severely, selflessly, richly, and fully.  To love with no strings attached.  To love the way our Lord Jesus loved everything so willingly and without reservation.

Now that I am married, I feel that both my love for and my service to God have found a new avenue for growth.  And in a good marriage- that's how it's supposed to be.  Two are better than one in so many ways.  There has to be proof of that in every day life. 

The beauty of this companionship, though, is that it isn't limited to just marriage.  In fact, it shouldn't be.  Whether single or married we need people in our lives to encourage us, to sharpen us, and to love us.  This concept is found all over the New Testament with the focus on community and companionship among believers.  My last post on community highlights this idea. 

And for those of you who are surrounded by community, but single...and waiting....continue to wait.  There is nothing more glorious than being married to the right person.  But there is nothing more miserable than being married to the wrong person.  I see this sad reality every day in my counseling office.  Women and men who are in agony and pain because they didn't wait patiently for God's best.  Lives shattered, destroyed, and broken because they settled for less than best. 

So wait for the best.  Wait for the best because you are worth it.  Wait for the best because you deserve it.  Wait for the best because it's out there and in God's perfect timing, you too, will experience this kind of companionship.

And for those of you who are happily married...take time today for an anniversary of sorts.  Take time today to remember and cherish the gift that God has given you in your spouse.  Take time today to encourage them, to sharpen them, and to love them.  And take the time to let them know. 

I love you John Fileta.  Happy Anniversary my love. 


  1. Yours is an anniversary I will never forget. Mom turned 58 this year. Hope you had a great anniversary! And I didn't gag, my may have rolled a bit though :) Seriously, I'm thankful Christians in our world believe and feel this way. Perhaps, others, who actually want to marry, will garner the courage to believe and pray with boldness, watching and working instead of wondering and waiting.

  2. Debra, I just visited your blog, and I'm glad I did. Thank you for this post - It was very encouraging for me to read right now.
    Grace & Peace,


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