Friday, April 6, 2012

I'm Not Jesus: Reflections on Good Friday

Luke 22:42
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

I've been reflecting on Jesus a lot this past week.  

The past few weeks have been some of the most mentally demanding weeks I've ever been through.  I have a lot on my plate and the drain of pregnancy has not helped ease those things along.  I've felt overwhelmed at times, isolated, and feeling like no one really understands the energy I have to give day in and day out.

But this week, I've thought of Jesus.  I've closed my eyes and imagined Him.  A lonely man, facing the most difficult week of his entire life.  For Him, this was also a week filled with struggles.  A week that was heavy with emotions of what was to come.  A week that was so exhausting to the point that His body had nothing left to give but blood, sweat, and tears.  This week my Savior was drained: mentally, emotionally, and He walked toward the road of Calvary, where He would ultimately lay down His life for me.

My initial reaction to this thinking was to beat myself up with guilt thinking, "How can you complain about your life, when you consider all that Jesus had to go through".          

But I had to stop myself and recognize my unhealthy thinking.

You see,  I am not Jesus.

The burden that He carried was meant for me...but God's loving grace knew that I could not bear it, and so He asked Jesus to bear it for me.  Only Jesus could bear it.  Only Jesus can bear it.  

If He can carry that, can He not carry this too?

In reflecting on this week of Christ's suffering, I think we do damage by comparing our struggles to His, rather than casting our struggles onto Him. 

I'm thankful for the weight that God carried on His shoulders for me 2,000 years ago...but I am also thankful for that which He carries for me

I'm thankful that I am not Jesus...and I am overwhelmed with gratitude that He is....