Sunday, July 29, 2012

My Olympic Boyfriend: Falling in love with a dream

While watching the Olympics tonight, somehow my husband and I got on the topic of falling in love. 

It's amazing how enamored society gets with the Olympics, but more so, with the Olympian athletes.  There is something very appealing about these young men and women.  Hard working, dedicated, fit, good looking athletes who are in the national spotlight.  There is something just so "dreamy" about them, isn't there?  The truth is, my husband and I know people who are completely obsessed with these people on TV, cheering for them, following them, supporting them, and ultimately idolizing them.  People who have pretty much fallen "in love" with these celebrity athletes from a distance.  Athletes and celebrities, movie stars and musicians, story characters...and even coworkers.  People are falling in love with them every single day. 

I think there is something about the invisible that makes it attractive, something about the unknown that is appealing.  Something about keeping people at a distance, that makes us want them even more... 

Which explains why so many men and women today are falling in love with a dream.  Someone that doesn't really exist.  Taking the character of someone they don't really know and adding the story they created that doesn't really exist.  Falling in love with a dream, falling in love with an idea, falling in love with a lie. 

The dangerous thing about this concept is that it is not contained within the walls of innocent Hollywood crushes.  It goes beyond that, and begins to take the form of fantasy in other areas of life.  Fantasy in living in what could be, rather than living in the reality of what actually is. 

From pornography, to affairs, to toxic relationships.  In each of these you will find men and women, imprisoned within the confines of a dream.  Stuck in a life they make up with people who don't actually exist...

The married man who glances at the beautiful office secretary, mentally engaging in a relationship with her...forgetting her flaws, neglecting her deficits...

The housewife, trapped in the fantasy and excitement of her romance novels, leaving her own reality behind...

The young woman stuck in an abusive marriage, making excuses and living for the dream of who he could be rather than acknowledging who he actually is....

The young man, fascinated by the beautiful images on his computer screen, growing numb to the beauty of the real woman in his life...

There is something powerful about living in a dream, but there is something even more paralyzing about it. 

When we live in a dream, we lose sight of what's real. We exchange our realities for something that can never actually exist.  We live for what could be, and end up missing what really is.  And in the end...we are led into disappointment, disillusionment, and destruction.   

We set ourselves up for failure by seeking to find this thing that doesn't actually exist, setting expectations that cannot actually be met by ourselves much less anyone else. 

When we live in a dream, we stop really living.  

Though it might not be as easy as a Hollywood romance, real life and real relationships are well worth the investment.  With the help of God's grace, forgiveness, and selflessness...they can flourish into far greater than a simple dream, because they can become your magnificent reality.   

Close your eyes to the temptation of fantasy, and instead, allow yourself to be freed into the reality of the here and now.  Allow yourself to truly live. 


  1. This is so true, we escape our troubles in this way and no one benefits from this action. Its a temporary high, with a devastating low. So not worth it!

  2. You're right Sue...temporary is a really good word to describe it. It's amazing how quick we can fall for momentary gratification. Thanks for reading along!

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  4. You're so articulate! I'm a clinical psychology grad student who discovered you through Relevant magazine. I am enjoying your insights and your expressive "voice" that comes across in your writing.


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