Watermelons, Elephants, and Major Sins:

Hebrews 12:1
...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles...

I bought a watermelon about a month ago.  

It looked so good in the store on a hot summer day, and I imagined cutting a slice outta that thing after dinner and letting it's sweet juice run down my face.

I put it in the fridge to cool until after dinner.  But for some reason, after the dishes had been put away and the pots and pans had been washed- I was really not in the mood to clean up one more mess, so I passed on slicing up the sweet treat.  Maybe tomorrow.  Or the day after that.  Or...the day after that. 

Four weeks later I bite into a slice of watermelon at someone's house and it triggers a thought- didn't I buy one of these?

I go home to my fridge, and there before my eyes sits the watermelon.  Huge as ever (and spoiled by now, might I add).  But somehow, I had gotten SO used to seeing that gigantic watermelon multiple times every day that I actually stopped noticing it.  It became a normal part of the background, until I hardly even realized it was there.  


I was sharing this story today as I was talking to a client of mine about the danger of getting so comfortable in our sin that it no longer becomes visible to our spiritual eyes.  That is the reality of how we function as human beings. 

We are so resilient and pliable that we can bounce back and conform to almost any situation.  But as life saving as those traits can be...they can also be permanently devastating.  To the man who gets so comfortable with the lust that has become the only excitement in his life.  To the woman who gets so numb to her addictive behaviors that they become a normalized part of her every day.  To the teenager who gets so acquainted with getting high as the only way to deal with his unpleasant emotions.  To the girl that finds her home in the toxic relationships that have taken over her heart. 

For those who get so comfortable with seeing their sin every single day, that they learn to become experts at learning to ignore it. 

It's time to come face to face with the elephant in the room.  It's time to recognize the sin in our lives that has outstayed it's welcome.  It's time to fix our eyes on Jesus, the Perfecter of our faith, and begin to recognize and throw off each and every sin that has so easily entangled us. 

Before it's too late.  

More Junk In This Pile Than I Ever Imagined:

2 Corinthians 10:5
"...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

There are so many things that come to my mind when I think about obedience.  But the interesting thing is, none of them have to do with my thoughts.  I don't know about you but when I consider the word obedience I tend to find my mind gravitating toward actions: sexual purity, respect, kindness, fidelity, selflessness, honesty...the list could go on and on.

God has been demolishing my definition of obedience by taking my focus from the external to the internal.

You see, I started reading a book last week by Beth Moore called, "Get out of that Pit".   I've never read a book by her before, but I've heard great things about her, particularly from my Christian clients, so I decided to pick it up when I saw it on the sale rack the other day.  I thought, "This will be a good resource to have for my clients...especially the ones who are stuck in a pit".  Addictions, anger, lust, abuse...these are the kind of things I consider a pit.

But, God has a sense of humor.  The book that happened to be on sale last week had nothing to do with my clients...and everything to do with God's client: Me.


You see, I'm a work in progress.  Sometimes I pridefully forget that.  And ironically, that prideful forgetting is a testimony to the fact that God still has a LOT of work to do on me. Though I can be obeying him from the outside...true obedience has less to do with the external and more to do with my internal state.  My heart.  My thoughts.  My attitudes.

It's easy to look good on the outside.  The reality is that in our world, we've all grown accustomed to that.  It's part of wearing the mask.  Do good and you will be good.  But in God's world, there is so much more to it than that.  

The thing I realized this week is that my thoughts are seriously out of control.  Some days my internal world is so misaligned with the idea of obedience to Christ.  I mean, I get that he knows my heart and mind...but it's so much easier to hide that which is between you and God, and hidden from the rest of the world. 

God has really been challenging me to get real with my thoughts.  To share them with trusted friends, and ultimately, to share them with Him.  He's been asking me to weed through the junk that I've allowed myself to focus on and exchange it for truth.  Every bit of it.  And trust me, there's more junk in this pile than I ever imagined...

So, that's where I'm at.  Learning to take my inside and give God the opportunity to allow it to match my outside...I want to take off this mask once and for all.  I want to be real in every sense of the word.    How about you? 

Porn, Pain, Problems...and Grace:

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Nothing surprises me anymore.  I just learned of a highly respected man from this area who committed suicide, a doctor who was caught harboring child pornography, and a school administrator who was involved in drugs.  Add that to the list of problems and pain I see in my counseling office, and you'll quickly understand why my shock radar is completely dead.  Sexual abuse.  Drug addictions.  Theft.  Infidelity.  Compulsive Lying.  Self-mutilation. 

Nothing surprises me anymore.

Time and time again I've seen the evidence of our fallen human nature.  Men and women, seemingly put together on the outside- the house, the cars, the clothes- but behind their mask there hides the face of their own "fallenness". 

Sometimes I see things so extreme that I have a silly tendency to sit back and think, "How do people end up in such awful places?"  I get confused sometimes, as if I- by my own doing- have made the best choices in my life. 

But then Jesus gently reminds me of my own desperate need.  He reminds me that the only reason I am even surviving without the mask is because He has graciously taken it from me, and nailed it to the cross.  He reminds me that I, too, have the capacity for things far more horrid than this, and that I am only rescued by His grace. 

A grace that knows what I'm capable of, yet loves me still.

There, but for the grace of God, go I.   --  John Bradford

There's No Such Thing As a Free Lunch:

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. 

My best friend Jessie wrote something sweet today that made me stop and think.

"My economics teacher always said "There's no such thing as a free lunch." While I used to argue that, I now know that it's true. Freedom is never free, someone, somewhere, has to pay. Thanks to all the good soldiers who keep our country safe, all the people working in sweat shops to make all the "free gifts" that major corporations bribe us with, and thanks to Jesus whose sacrifice of his blood covers all our mess and makes it new and good! So much brokenness and so much good. Let's all celebrate by being a little sacrificial ourselves. Let's love!"

I really love what she had to say, because there is so much truth in it that can easily get forgotten.  Freedom isn't free.  There is always someone paying the price, and sometimes, the price is nothing small.

But what I love most about what she wrote is her response: Let's all celebrate by being a little sacrificial ourselves.  Let's love.

It is so easy to take our freedom for granted, but it is even easier to live a life of selfishness in response to the most selfless gift we have been given- the gift of freedom. 

Thank you, God, for freedom from our sin, our brokenness, and our shame. 

Some Good Lookin' Grass:

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

I'm on a roller coaster ride with contentment.  Looking back, it seems as though it's a topic that I write about every couple of months.  And the reality of this blog is that though my readers may find themselves getting something out of it- I don't write for them...I write for me. 

It's a place to hash through my struggles and my victories.  A place to give outlet to my thoughts and accountability to my spirituality.  Which means one thing about my frequency of visiting this topic: I wrestle with contentment a lot. 

I'm sure there are those of you out there who can relate.  The cliche, "The grass is always greener on the other side" probably wouldn't exist if this was not a universal struggle.

A couple weeks ago I found myself, once again, in the boxing ring with contentment.  Everyone's grass was looking pretty good right around then.  I found myself daydreaming about where I would rather be and what I would rather be doing. Imagining what it would be like to walk in their shoes.  And slowly but surely, the feelings of discontent and insecurity started sneaking in. 

My negative thoughts offered them a crack in which to seep through and start coating my life with discontent.

I once read a book about the topic of contentment.  One chapter included letters from 3 college friends who were keeping in touch 15 years after graduation.  One was a single, successful business woman.  The other, a stay at home mommy of 3, and the third going back to finish her education since her children were grown and in school. 

The series of letters were essentially a running list of complaints- each woman looking at the lives of her friends as "better than" her own.  The single woman wished she had a family to call her own.  The stay at home mommy wished she was out working, using her degree and making money.  And the third wished she would have already finished her education like her other two friends.  The letters went on and on but ultimately unveiled the discontent in each of their hearts.

The unfortunate thing about that chapter is the fact that, essentially, that becomes real life if we're not careful.  I don't want the letter of my life to be full of wishes and wants.  God has placed me where I am in this season of my life because I am CALLED to be here.  There is purpose traced through every single hour of every single day if I choose to look for it.

At times, that purpose is writing an article for a magazine, counseling clients, or speaking about important topics.  But at other times, that purpose is watching my daughter splatter applesauce all over her face while trying to feed herself, changing a dirty diaper, or loading the dishwasher. 

God's purpose for our lives is in everything, and it can never be calculated by what we are accomplishing on the outside, but on who we are becoming on the inside.  Watching God at work in our lives can never be boring.  Seeing him take our lifeless lump of clay lives and turn them into majestic and beautiful art is a process that unfolds each and everyday...if we will only notice.   

And as we watch this labor of love, and see God's will unfold in our lives, we will find ourselves rejoicing always...and giving thanks continually.  We will find that at the end of our day, this is the only way to find true contentment.   

Don't Get Robbed:

Exodus4:12-14

“Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses and he said, "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite?

Lately I’ve been camping out in the story of Moses.  It’s amazing how reading the bible in different seasons of life brings out a whole new meaning and perspective to even the most familiar passages. 

This was one of those new seasons for me.  I’m reading the story of Moses.  I’ve probably read it over a dozen times, and watched the Charleston Heston version on TV over 25 times.  But this time I noticed something that I have never noticed before: Moses got robbed.

I don’t mean tangibly, in a monetary way.  I mean spiritually.  You see, God himself appeared to Moses through a burning bush.  God himself.  I can’t say I have that kind of experience on a daily basis. 

But as though that were not enough, God offered Moses something.  He offered him Himself.  “I will help you speak…I will teach you what to say…”.  Funny thing is, for Moses- that wasn’t enough.

He wanted the tangible.  He wanted help he could see, and feel, and touch.  He wanted assurance in human things, in familiar things, in physical things.  And at the end of the exchange, Moses exchanged the direct help of God himself…for the help of his brother Aaron. 

The funny thing is, I never really saw this passage that way before.  It completely boggles my mind.  I’m thinking, “Seriously, Moses?  Seriously?  You would rather have the help of your random brother than the help of God himself?”  It made no sense to me in the moment.  How foolish.  How weak.  How lacking in faith. 

But, like usual as I’m reading God’s word…the tables are turned.  “What about you, Deb?  I offer you myself every day, and many days that is not enough.”

And God was right.

There are so many days and seasons in my life where I am trying to believe, longing for faith, longing for more of God…and wanting some extra assurance on the side.

That extra financial boost, that relationship, that apology from a friend, that test grade, that approval.  There are so many times that I want the tangible more than I want the spiritual.  And just like Moses, that exchange is always a poor and pitiful choice.

You see, when we are relying on the tangible, we are missing so much of what God wants to do with us.  We are missing intimacy with Him in a powerful way.  An intimacy that can only come with Him guiding, Him leading, Him whispering in our ear.  Him speaking to us, and Him teaching us. 

But instead, we opt for what we can see, what we can feel, what we can touch.  We opt for the familiar.  And in the end, we, like Moses, get robbed.  We get robbed of knowing God in a deep and powerful way.  We get robbed of the opportunities to grow in our faith, in our trust, and in our reliance on Him and Him alone.

God didn’t argue with Moses.  He got angry at his lack of faith.  He was probably hurt by it.  But he didn’t get angry.  Instead, he gave him the tangible instead.  He allowed Moses to choose whether he would have more of God, or more of what was comfortable.

What about you?  What assurances are you holding on to that are taking the place of God?  What tangible things are you leaning on when you should be leaning on Him? 

May we have faith to let go of the tangible, and exchange them for more the supernatural.  For more of Him. 

Do I really believe this stuff?

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

My belief in this verse and my confidence in the God of these words was put to the test last week.  My husband and I drove out to visit a dear relative suffering from a terrible illness.  We went to help, we hoped to encourage.  But somehow when you choose to bless others, you are always humbled at the way that you yourself are blessed by them. 

In this situation, this was especially true.

I've always imagined the thought of losing a loved one to illness or death.  Whenever I hear of someone struggling physically, it always seems to darken my spirit.  Ironically, I'm a therapist who deals with some of the most emotionally painful situations a human being should never have to go through.  But at the end of the day, there is always hope in the emotional.  There is always a chance for healing, for those who want it.

Physical pain, on the other hand, seems to make me feel a little more helpless.  There is only so much that can be done.  Doctors are incredible, and God is the great Healer- but ultimately, our mortal bodies are slaves to this thing called the grave.  Our bodies are temporary.  And one day our spirits will find a new home.  An eternal home. 

As freeing as this thought is to the believer in Christ- it also carries a tremendous amount of sadness.  I struggle with the truth that our bodies are just bodies...and one day they will see their last breath.  That means my body, as well.  But even more difficult for me, is the though of one day losing those I love.  My parents.  My friends. My husband. 

Just thinking about this reality can strike a chord of panic in me.  Serious panic. 

But something about experiencing this specific situation of suffering second-hand really challenged me to ask myself:  Do I really believe this stuff?

It's easy to talk, but when difficult situations come a long the reality of our commitment to God is really tested.  Would my relationship come through it?  Would I be able to uphold my end of the bargain and love Him, trust Him, and believe in Him no matter what?

I've struggled with that thought for years.  I read the story of Job and think- seriously??  Who can have that kind of attitude in the face of utter despair?  I doesn't even seem realistic.  "Though he slay me, yet I will trust Him".  I hardly feel that and my life is nothing compared to the difficulties that others go through. 

But, I learned some serious lessons spending time with my family last weekend, specifically, with my cousin who I have come to love and respect greatly.  I watched her in the midst of the most horrific struggle she will ever undergo and I learned this profound lesson: God gives us just what we need...just when we need it.  Not a moment before, and not a moment after.   He has blessed her with a grace and a peace far beyond anything I have experienced in a long time.  He has given her a strength that caused me to step back and take inventory of my own faith.  He comes through with a peace that doesn't even make any sense. I've seen it with my cousin, and I've seen it numerous times in the lives of friends and loved ones. 

Don't get me wrong...there are moments of sheer pain.  There are times of sorrow, sin, and struggle.  But at the end of the day I am encouraged beyond belief to know that my God is going to meet me where I am at, just when I need Him to.  He did it for them, and He does it for countless others...and I know He will do it for me.  I can count on that. 

I don't have to muster up strength in preparation for the difficult times...what a terrible life that would be.  In the Exodus, God provided manna to feed the starving Israelites.  Every day he would provide for them just what they needed.  He even asked them to only take what they needed for that day, requiring them to trust Him again for tomorrow.

And so He will do the same for my starving heart when the need is there.  He will provide nourishment for my hungry spirit just as He promised he would.  I believe this.  And when I don't  feel it, I choose to believe it.  If He is God....He can be trusted.