Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
One of the greatest fears of young singles that I meet is the prospect of being single, and “alone”, forever. It’s probably a thought that crosses the mind of every young adult at one point in their lives. I can recall wondering the same thing myself.
The simple (and dreaded) answer to this question is yes. Though singleness is statistically not probable, it’s possible. That’s the short answer, but there is so much to this question than just a simple yes or no. One verse that was a continuous source of encouragement to me in my young adult years as a single was found in the book of Psalms. Chapter 37 verse 4 says this, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart”.
For a time I interpreted this verse to mean that God will grant you what you want in life. Not a bad interpretation if you ask me! I don't really think that anymore, though I still agree with this interpretation to an extent. Just like I delight in giving my daughter good things, our heavenly father loves us and wants to give his children what makes them happy. But I have come to believe that this verse holds so much more meaning than that.
I heard an interpretation in which the pastor explained that this verse actually means that when you delight in the Lord, he will GIVE you your desires. Meaning, He will place desires within you. That was a transformational thought for me. It was freeing because it meant that if I really took it to heart in delighting in God as the love of my life, He would arrange my desires to line up with His. When you really take joy in your relationship with God you will find that you know Him in a deeper way, and in turn, know what He wants for your life.
St. Augustine said it this way, “Love, then do what thou wilt”. I don’t think this gives us freedom to do whatever we want in life. But I do think that it means that when we truly love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength- our desires will align with His. What we choose to do by following our will, will ultimately be aligned with His.
On a side not, I believe that it’s a myth to think that all joys will be fulfilled the moment you meet your future spouse. I believe that God wants us to learn how to take joy in Him because no matter where this life takes us on the journey of finding true love, true joys can only be found in relationship with Him.
I am married to an incredible man and I can tell you that there are day that he lets me down, and I guarantee you he’d say the same about me. Though we love each other, our ultimate joy doesn’t come from that love, it comes from the love we have for the Lord; a love that we delight in, live for, and bask in; a love that overflows into every part of our lives, including our relationship with each other.
If you have a strong desire for marriage, seek God. If you have a strong desire for singleness, seek God. In the end, when you have really submitted your heart to Him, God will use your desires to lead you in the right direction. Just as I believe marriage is a calling, I believe singleness is a serious calling, one that God will equip you for if He calls you to it. You will know this calling is on your life beyond a shadow of a doubt, and you will be at peace with it.
For now, submit your heart to God, and then allow Him to lead your heart. If He is really God then He can be trusted. If He is really God then He knows what is best for your life. If He is really God, then He will not let you down.