I Just Don't Trust God...

Genesis 22
Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slaughter his son. But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” He said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” 

And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. 

So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided."

It's soooooo stinkin' hard to trust God sometimes.  I mean, really, really, really, hard.  Oh, it's always easy to say that we do, but then to actually go about living our lives and acting in a way that reflects trust...that takes some serious...well....trust.
Like one of our friends said it in our get together last night, "I don't trust God, and sometimes, I just need to get real and tell Him that I don't."

I think that's so true.  Sometimes the only person we're fooling is ourselves.  Living a fake emotional connection that we're not truly living out.  Sometimes the only way to change is to just get down and dirty in honesty...to tell God how we really feel.  He can handle it. 

One story that I have never forgotten was about a little girl learning to trust.

She had a cheap little necklace that she had acquired, probably from a 25cent machine at some grocery store, but she was obsessed with it.  Every night her daddy would go into her room and ask her if she trusted him.  When she said "yes" (we all say yes, don't we...) he would ask her to give him her necklace.  "No daddy, I can't.  I love this necklace" she would say.  And every night the same exchange.  Her dad was loving, and patient with her...

Then one day, he came into her room and found her sitting in her bed waiting for him.  But this time, she was crying.  With tears in her eyes she opened her hand with her little necklace and said, "Daddy, I trust you.  You can have my necklace". 

Her daddy took her necklace in his hand, and in the other hand he handed her a box.  When she opened the box, to her utter surprise was another necklace...but this time, a genuine string of beautiful pearls.  And let me add, this necklace was worth WAY more than 25 cents.  He placed the necklace around her neck and reminded her of his love.  His unconditional, deep, overwhelming love.

A love that waits.  A love that holds on.  A love that never gives up...no matter what we do, or don't do.  A love that lets us choose to trust...but also allows us not to. 

It's funny to think about that story, now that I have a little girl of my own.  My daughter LOVES the cheap, plastic necklaces that she has.  She plays with them nonstop, takes them off and on all day, wears them everywhere we go, and even takes them in the bath.  And though they are an absolute strangulation hazard, she would even wear them to bed if we would let her.

She loves those cheap, plastic necklaces so much...because she doesn't know any better. 

For her, this is reality, these are as good as it gets.  As her parents, we love watching her joy...but we also long to show her that life has so much more than these little necklaces.  One day, she will have to trust us.

How childlike we can be, though.  Our vision is so small sometimes, that we think that this (whatever this is for you) is as good as it gets.  What we have is safe, is secure, is comfortable...we can't possibly give it over to God.  He might mess it up or give us something that e absolutely could never handle.

Our fears set in...because at the end of the day, we don't know any better, either. 

Jesus knows our child-like fears.  He is patient with us.  But every day He lovingly asks...Do You Trust Me? 

Maybe you, too, are holding onto something that you just can't think of letting go.  Maybe you are having a hard time trusting Him.  Maybe you're afraid that He will let you down...that He won't come through, that He'll change your plans.

Disappointment.  Anxiety.  Fears.  Unraveled plans.  Broken relationships.  Destructive habits.  Finances, future, or the pain of the past.  He holds out His hand.      

He still waits patiently.  He still knows best. He still has your best interest in mind.  

Will you trust Him to take this thing...in exchange for something far, far greater.