Moments in the Desert:

This is one of the first reflections I wrote a few years ago...in fact, it's this reflection that inspired me to pursue stillness in the first place. May it do the same for you.

Hosea 2:13
“She decked herself with rings and jewelry, and went after her lovers, but me she forgot”, declares the Lord. “Therefore, I am now going to allure her. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.”

I wake up, wishing I could sleep just a little longer, and drag myself out of bed. The main thing on my mind is my self. What to wear. Brush my teeth. Look in the mirror. Think of my schedule. List of to-do’s.

And I am consumed- even if so innocently- consumed with myself. I am the love of my life at these shallow moments of waking. Stripped of all my inhibitions, when no one is looking, I find that there is only myself. I am the lover of my own soul.

Like the woman in Hosea, I continue on through the day, only aware of myself, living to please myself, to impress those around me with beauty, humor, spirituality and good deeds.

And all the while, despite my selfishness, God is beckoning for me to come. “Come to my side, come and meet me. Come, put yourself aside and walk toward my voice”. Beckoning faithfully, he whispers to me throughout the day alluring me with His words of love.

And when I am finally able to follow his voice, he takes me and strips me of my “decent” appearance, and pulls me into the dry desert so that my wandering eyes have no where else to look but to Him. And there he speaks to me, there he gently reminds me that this world has so very little to offer. There, he tenderly tells me that I am his beloved, and He is mine. There he tells me that this is where the greatest joys can be found. And he is right, because only there, have I ever felt such love. And it is beautiful and perfect with Him. And I find that He is all that I ever wanted and needed.

I leave the desert and enter into my life again. This time, the world becomes so gray unless it is identified with Him- for now I realize there is nothing worth glancing at, nothing worth aiming for, nothing worth investing in- unless it can bring me back to Him.

Lord, pull me into solitude with you...speak tenderly to your child. Be the lover that consumes my mind this day.