Calling All Control Freaks: A Lesson on Trusting God

Isaiah 55:9
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I don't know about you- but I'm a control freak. I like things done how I want them, when I want them, the way I want them. Interestingly enough, that doesn't always mesh well with Christianity. In fact, Christianity tells us just the opposite. It reminds us that we, in fact, know nothing when it comes to what's best for us. It reminds us that God's ways are so much higher than our own. It reminds us that His plans will always lead to a better outcome.

There have been many seasons in my life where I have doubted that. I've doubted that God's plans were best. There were many times in my life where I felt my world was crumbling before my eyes- with no hope in sight. In those moments, it's hard to believe that God knows best. It's hard to continue giving him the reigns to your life when it seems like He doesn't know what He's doing.

And you know, sometimes no matter how much I hear the truth about what's best for me- I need to experience it before I will learn to believe. Sometimes I am like Thomas, looking to feel, to see, to touch in order to believe. For those Thomas' out there like me, let me tell you a story that has really moved my heart and brought me one step closer to trusting.

My cousin Hany was born with a degenerative eye disease. In his late 20's, he was already facing legal blindness, which impaired his ability to drive and to work, and ultimately- impaired his self esteem. Hany lives in Egypt, and had little access to the kind of specialized care he needed to find a cure for his eyes. Ultimately, what he needed for healing was cornea transplants.

He spent the following years crying out to God for a miracle. He needed money, and most importantly, he needed a Visa to America. Month after month he applied for his Visa. Month after month he faced rejection upon rejection. He decided to try one last time...give it one final push...and pray for the best. Again- rejection. He had reached his emotional limit. There was no hope in sight. It seemed as though God had forgotten him. Or frankly, it seemed as though God didn't really give a rip.

We've all had moments like Hany, haven't we? We've all had moments when it felt like God wasn't listening, that he didn't hear, or that he really didn't care. We've all had moments when we got sick and tired of trusting in His plan, ready to take back control and live life our way. Life gets difficult sometimes...and we're desperate for answers.

Answers didn't come immediately. They don't always.

A few months after Hany's rejection- a tragedy occurred in his life. Hany's father was suddenly diagnosed with terminal cancer- and only a few months left to live. Hany spent the rest of those months by his father's side, loving on him, taking care of him, and enjoying the last few months of his life until his father went to be with Jesus.

God had a plan. He always does. If Hany had gotten what he originally wanted, he would have missed the last few months of his father's life- precious moments that could never be relived. Even though Hany thought he knew what was best....God ultimately knew what was best for Hany. His ways were greater; His thoughts higher.

The following year, Hany applied once more for a Visa- and this time he was accepted. He was able to come to America and have the surgery on his eyes- and received two new corneas which restored his vision.

I hold this story dear to my heart, because I see it as such a challenge in my life. It reminds me of how absolutely clueless I am when it comes to my life and what's best for me. It reminds me to let go of my control and cling to nothing else but God's sovereignty in my life. It reminds me that even though I think I know what I need...I serve a God who mercifully says no to me, because He knows the end result.

Now that, is a God I can trust.