Gratitude vs.Bragitude: Fighting the Spotlight Mentality

Luke 18:11
The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector.

I have to be honest and say that I really feel blessed in my life.  Mostly because I serve a really good God, and partly because I'm learning that the gift of contentment is one that really must be earned with blood, sweat and tears. 

With all that said, this journey toward contentment has allowed me- for the first time, to have the ability to take the focus off of myself.  God has been really challenging me to a growing awareness of the people around me....their joys, their struggles.

They say early adolescents go through a developmental season where they feel that the focus of the universe is on them.  When they walk into a room, the spotlight is on them.  It's as though they are living their life as the star of their own play, and everyone else is in the background- secondary characters. 

Sometimes I think that stage goes beyond middle school.  Sometimes, I think there is a fraction of that little adolescent living inside of us always...battling for the spotlight. 

Lately, I've been really trying to fight that urge inside of me. 

I heard a pastor the other day on national TV say that he is so "Thankful" for his amazing car, beautiful wife, financial prosperity, and incredible ministry.  "God is good", he said. 

Not sure why, but something about that rubbed me the wrong way.  It brought me back to those middle school days of fighting for the spotlight.  Me, me, me....thank you God that my life is amazing, thank you that I'm rich, beautiful, and smart...thank you, that my life is not like HIS...

I'm grateful for what I have...but I'm learning that there is a difference between gratitude, and "bragitude".

One puts the spotlight on me....the other puts the spotlight on Christ. 


This is something I need to work on daily.  To fight the Pharisee urges of glorifying the good in my life for the sake of praise and recognition, and accept the calling to lay those things down before the feet of Jesus....remembering that it is all because of Him. 

I'm learning to have an awareness of those around me, to approach them with grace and with love, taking the spotlight off of me, and willingly putting it where it truly belongs.

Some Good Lookin' Grass:

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

I'm on a roller coaster ride with contentment.  Looking back, it seems as though it's a topic that I write about every couple of months.  And the reality of this blog is that though my readers may find themselves getting something out of it- I don't write for them...I write for me. 

It's a place to hash through my struggles and my victories.  A place to give outlet to my thoughts and accountability to my spirituality.  Which means one thing about my frequency of visiting this topic: I wrestle with contentment a lot. 

I'm sure there are those of you out there who can relate.  The cliche, "The grass is always greener on the other side" probably wouldn't exist if this was not a universal struggle.

A couple weeks ago I found myself, once again, in the boxing ring with contentment.  Everyone's grass was looking pretty good right around then.  I found myself daydreaming about where I would rather be and what I would rather be doing. Imagining what it would be like to walk in their shoes.  And slowly but surely, the feelings of discontent and insecurity started sneaking in. 

My negative thoughts offered them a crack in which to seep through and start coating my life with discontent.

I once read a book about the topic of contentment.  One chapter included letters from 3 college friends who were keeping in touch 15 years after graduation.  One was a single, successful business woman.  The other, a stay at home mommy of 3, and the third going back to finish her education since her children were grown and in school. 

The series of letters were essentially a running list of complaints- each woman looking at the lives of her friends as "better than" her own.  The single woman wished she had a family to call her own.  The stay at home mommy wished she was out working, using her degree and making money.  And the third wished she would have already finished her education like her other two friends.  The letters went on and on but ultimately unveiled the discontent in each of their hearts.

The unfortunate thing about that chapter is the fact that, essentially, that becomes real life if we're not careful.  I don't want the letter of my life to be full of wishes and wants.  God has placed me where I am in this season of my life because I am CALLED to be here.  There is purpose traced through every single hour of every single day if I choose to look for it.

At times, that purpose is writing an article for a magazine, counseling clients, or speaking about important topics.  But at other times, that purpose is watching my daughter splatter applesauce all over her face while trying to feed herself, changing a dirty diaper, or loading the dishwasher. 

God's purpose for our lives is in everything, and it can never be calculated by what we are accomplishing on the outside, but on who we are becoming on the inside.  Watching God at work in our lives can never be boring.  Seeing him take our lifeless lump of clay lives and turn them into majestic and beautiful art is a process that unfolds each and everyday...if we will only notice.   

And as we watch this labor of love, and see God's will unfold in our lives, we will find ourselves rejoicing always...and giving thanks continually.  We will find that at the end of our day, this is the only way to find true contentment.   

Contentment Day 12: Christ.

Philippians 4:12-13
¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him [Christ] who gives me strength. 

Maybe some of you have noticed...Bible Gateway, along with other companies, have updated the NIV to the 2010 translation.  Essentially, you'll find the same messages at the root of every passage, with slight elaborations on some of the content. 


I chose to use the 2010 version in today's passage, because I think it describes so beautifully the foundational ingredient of reaching true contentment.

Paul is explaining all the things he has been through in his life.  And if you know anything about Paul's life- you know his struggles and challenges can be compared to some of the greatest in history.  He was a man who saw the bitter sting of imprisonment, hatred, and an early death- all for the name of the one He loved, all for the sake of the One who had changed his life. 

But at the end of it all- Paul was able to achieve true contentment.  He was wholly satisfied in his life, and no one could take that away from him.  And at the end of it all, his secret to contentment boiled down to one thing and one thing alone: Christ. 

It was Christ that saved this man from the pit of materialism, arrogance, hatred, and selfishness.  It was Christ who gave him purpose, a calling, and a reason to live.  It was Christ who filled him with compassion, love, and mercy.  It was Christ who took the nagging hole at the pit of his heart and filled it with His love. 

Paul found the secret to contentment that he had been searching for all his life...because Christ found him.  

Maybe you, too, have an aching void in your life.  A hole that you have long tried to silence with the things of this world only to find yourself frustrated and empty.  A hole that reminds you with each and every passing thought that your life is not as it should be.  Maybe you too, like Paul, have reached a point in your life where you are realizing that the only thing left to try is Jesus.  It's true, as the songwriter wrote: There's a God shaped hole in all of us.  And that's a hole that only He can fill. 

And I am so thankful He did.  I am so thankful that we serve a God who is gracious enough to find us, knowing that we aren't always able to find Him.  A God who humbled himself to the point of becoming one of us in order to help us know Him, in order to give us the chance to be loved by Him.  A God who gave His life so that we could fill the void in our life...and finally find the secret to contentment.  Finally find Him. 

This Christmas, may we understand the gift of Christ.  A God who became a man just to chase after those He loved.  Just to remind us that the hole in our heart is really perfectly made for Him. 

Let us allow Him to fill our hearts and our lives with that love...and truly find what it means to be content. 

Merry Christmas everyone.  May God grant each of you with the gift of contentment...the gift of Christ. 

Contentment Day 11: Cognitive Therapy at its Finest...

Philippians 4:8
⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

2010 (Part I): As the year 2010 comes to a close I realize that it's brought with it many challenges.  After finding out I was pregnant early in January, we soon found out we would also be moving as my due date approached.  My husband would be starting a new job half way across the country.  That meant one transition after another...and if you know anything about me, you know I hate change.  Not only were we expecting a little one, but we had to uproot our entire lives.  New job, new city, new baby...and a lot of boxes to pack.  I hate packing up.  All the boxes, and disarray...and try moving while you're entering your 3rd trimester of pregnancy.  So we make it to the big move and start our new life in a new state...only to find out that due to some state-to-state complications with my license...I can't start working!  Now I'm stuck with day upon day to just sit around and wait for the birth of my baby...with absolutely nothing to do.  And just when I finally get used to being unemployed...the baby decides to come along.  So then I go from having nothing to do, to having something to do every second of every day....with no breaks!  Being a mom has been quite a challenge...with little appreciation.   I've gone through some of my lowest points this past year.  What a year it has been.

2010 (Part II): As the year 2010 comes to a close I realize that it's brought with it many challenges...but those challenges have also ushered in some of the greatest joys I've ever experienced.  We were so blessed to find out we were expecting a baby at the start of the year.  And not only that, a baby girl...I had always dreamed of having a little baby girl.  Not only that, we found out we were moving half way across the country...closer to my family!  God was setting us up for the support he knew we would need when our little one came along.  Although moving can be a tough process, we were glad to watch it go smoothly.  John even ended up having some extra time off to help with all the packing.  Everything just fell into place, and thankfully a very-pregnant Deb was able to safely make the trek cross-country!  One blessing in disguise was when I found out I wouldn't be able to work right away.  I was stressed out at first, but soon I was able to see and appreciate that I really needed the time to rest.  There was a little bundle on the way and I needed to save up all my energy!  And God provided miraculously financially...we were thankful for that.  Right now I'm the mother of a beautiful, amazing, steal-your-breath-away baby girl who is the joy of our lives.  Watching her grow up has been a miracle to me, and has made me appreciate life in a greater way.  Being a mom has been a challenge, but every challenge is worth the joys that follow.  This has been a a year full of blessings undeserved.
____________________

Let me explain.  Today's post on contentment is centered around one topic: how we think.  

I read a book once in which the author was talking about the power of our thoughts.  She wrote two entries about her life, both of which were 100% true.  One positive, one negative.  She then challenged the reader to take a look at both entries and ask themselves the question in their own lives: Which entry do you spend the most time thinking about?

What a much needed slap in the face for most of us.  The reality is, each of us could come up with two separate stories in our lives...each story being 100% true.  One story- the list of positives.  The other- negatives.  Each story meshes together in a beautiful way to make up the threads of the canvas of our lives.  But for some reason...most of us have a tendency to really zoom in on one side and neglect the other.  The unfortunate thing is, the side we magnify is almost always the negative.

This bible passage, my friends, is cognitive therapy at it's finest: the challenge to take a look at our lives from the vantage point of the positive.  The call to totally rearrange the way that we think so that we can also transform the way that we live.

This mental renewal of the mind doesn't always come easy.  Our minds are like computers...and we program them to think a certain way.  We teach them.  And slowly these thoughts and patterns of thinking make their way into habits of thinking...sometimes permanently.

Changing these patterns takes work.  It's not easy to wake up everyday and "look at the bright side of things"...and that's not the point.  We aren't called to be optimists who forget reality, we are called to be optimists who create reality.  We get to pick the ending to our story.  You see, we're all offered the same plots in life- with joys and struggles, with sorrows and triumphs...but the ending is up to us.  And the ending is always created by the thoughts that rule our minds.

For me, I want the ending to be good.  I want to be able to look back at my life and see the mountain tops rather than linger in the valleys.  I want to learn how to take my thoughts captive and really hone in on whatever is true, noble, right,  pure, lovely, admirable and praiseworthy.  I want to train myself to think the way God calls me to think.  The way He thinks.


This is the way to contentment, my friends.  No matter what your story, no matter what you've been through or how you've lived your life, it's not too late- you can't go wrong if you follow that rule.  God can take your story and allow you to see it from His perspective...as a masterpiece.

May He give us to wisdom to live our lives in truth, in righteousness, and in purity.  May God give us the strength to see our lives as beautiful. And may we respond with a heart of contentment. 

**Response: I'd love to hear from you.  Take some time to share your stories with me- your positive and your negative one...and then ask yourself, which one do you make your home in?  Comment below!

Contentment Day 10: Connect With God (The Meaning of Weak Prayers)

Philippians 4:6-7
⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

I'm reading a book about prayer right now called "Too Busy Not To Pray".   In this book, Bill Hybels confronts the reader with the idea that prayer isn't a problem of time, it's a problem of theology.  I mean, if you think about it, anyone who TRULY believed in the power of God and connecting with Him through prayer would either be ignorant or arrogant in their prayer failures.

If you think about it, this makes a lot of sense.  I mean, If we really believed in who God was, and really knew what He could do...imagine how that would change our prayer lives.  The funny thing is, most of us actually think we believe.  "I know God can do these things" we may say with our mouths, but our lives tell a whole different story, don't they?

And I guess this is why I believe this scripture is most important when we're looking at the topic of contentment, because it is when we CONNECT with God through prayer, that we give Him the authority to have His way in our lives.  

God has power over nature.  He has power over our hearts, our emotions, our minds.  He has power over our situations and our dilemmas.  And He even has power over our perspectives.  God takes the lame and makes them walk.  He brings joy to the depressed.  He gives direction to the lost.  He brings hope to the hopeless and peace to the restless. 

You say you believe this, but does your prayer life speak the same?

Praise God that He is faithful.  Praise Him that He hears us though our prayers are weak, selfish, scattered, and few and far between.  May He grant us the faith to believe in Him with our words and with our actions.  May He give us unwavering belief in who He is and what He can do in our lives.  May He teach us how to pray. 

The Lord's Prayer:

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

the power and the glory,

for ever and ever.

Amen.

Contentment Day 9: Citizineship (Appetizers Aren't supposed to Fill You Up!)

Philippians 3:18-21
18 For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. ¹⁹ Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. ²⁰ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. 

A few months ago I wrote about "The Gift of Unhappiness".  The post was a discussion of Max Lucado's idea that we will never be TRULY happy here on earth because we weren't made for this earth.  He eloquently reminds us that because this world is not our home, we can't get too comfortable here.  Our hearts should always be longing for more.

I have always loved this concept, because it has truly helped me get through some difficult moments in my life.  I love this concept so much that I thought it was worth re-posting about in this series on contentment.  The reality is, to reach contentment in our lives we have to remember that this world is not our home.  Like Paul explains, our citizenship is in heaven. 

Max Lucado puts it best in his book Heaven, God's Highest Hope:

"Unhappiness on earth cultivates a hunger for heaven. By gracing us with a deep dissatisfaction, God holds our attention. The only tragedy, then, is to be satisfied prematurely. To settle for earth. To be content in a strange land...We are not happy here because we are not at home here. We are not happy here because we are not supposed to be happy here. We are “like foreigners and strangers in this world” (1 Pet.
2:11).

Take a fish and place him on the beach.2 Watch his gills gasp and scales dry. Is he happy? No! How do you make him happy? Do you cover him with a mountain of cash? Do you get him a beach chair and sunglasses? Do you bring him a Playfish magazine and martini? Do you wardrobe him in double-breasted fins and people-skinned shoes? Of course not. Then how do you make him happy? You put him back in his element. You put him back in the water. He will never be happy on the beach simply because he was not made for the beach.

And you will never be completely happy on earth simply because you were not made for earth. 

Oh, you will have your moments of joy. You will catch glimpses of light. You will know moments or even days of peace. But they simply do not compare with the happiness that lies ahead....
 
Those moments are appetizers for the dish that is to come."

And that is the key to contentment.  Remembering that this world is but an appetizer for what is to come.  It is not supposed to fill us up because it can't.  Too many of us put our highest hopes and expectations into this world, only to be let down time and time again.  Contentment is found when we let go of our expectations of what this world can offer us, and remember that the best is yet to come.  Our citizenship is in heaven.  


Thank you Father that the best is yet to come.  May we never be so satisfied with this world that we cease to long for more.  Give us contentment in our lives as we journey toward greater and greater things. 

Contentment Day 8: Compared to Knowing Christ: (On Spiritual ADD)

Philippians 3:7-11
⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in^[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Day 8 of contentment.  I don't know about you...but the road to contentment hasn't been as easy as it sounds.  There are so many components of selflessness and trust on this journey- and our flesh rages against those things. 

Today's lesson is no less difficult.  Today's lesson challenges us to take a look at our life from the bigger picture.  Paul challenges us to consider what really matters in this world and turn our backs on all other things.  

Paul starts off by discussing all the things that he can boast in...all the amazing things in his life, all that he had earned, all that he hadachieved.  He lists these things and then he says that compared to knowing Christ- all that stuff is just garbage.  What a perspective.  To him, knowing Jesus was so much greater than all of that "stuff".  He had learned not to get caught up in the things this world had to offer- and look up and something even greater: his God. 

I don't know about you, but for me that is a hard perspective to grasp.  It's hard to wake up everyday and remember that this life is just the background.  All this stuff get's in the way.  All the things we have and all the things we want.  All the things we strive for in this life.  And not just the good things, but even the bad.  I might even be able to say, especially the bad.  It seems as though that when I am going through something difficult, it's even easier to let that thing take up my entire vision. 

You see, I'm easily distracted.  At times, it feels as though I have a form of spiritual ADD.  It's not natural for me to live my life remembering that nothing matters more than knowing Jesus.  And not just to remember it, but to live that out. 

Paul had learned a contentment that could never be taken away from him, because he had learned to compare everything he went to in his life to that which was even better.  He didn't settle to live for that which was good, he lived for the greater things.  He lived to know God each and every single day.  In the triumphs and in the suffering- he allowed God to take center stage in his life. And from this he was never distracted. 

That perspective will bring us to true contentment.  When God is magnified in our life, all of a sudden things don't seem so bad.  

May God grant us the the gift of whole-hearted focus on who He is.  May He give us the desire to know Him more, and may that desire supersede any other thing that may distract us from this calling.  May we learn to consider everything in our life as garbage, compared to knowing Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Contentment Day 7: Company- Stay Away from Grumpy...

Philippians 3:2
Watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh...

In yesterday's post about complaining, I was talking about a friend I have who never seems to be happy.  He's always complaining about something.  In fact, it kind of reminds me of a funny comedy bit from one of Conan O'brien's shows.  The discussion was about how everything around us is truly miraculous, from cell phones, to flight....yet we always have something to complain about. 

Today, we pick up where we left off...but on a whole new level.  The reality is, one way to purge ourselves from the trap of discontent is to check out the company that we keep.  Hang around complainers and you will find yourself molding into one. 

In today's text Paul is giving a warning about the kind of company we keep.  He was giving warning regarding the Judaizers of that day- people who were so stuck in religion and wrong beliefs about the faith.  They were always bringing down the people around them, making them feel as though their relationship with God was not enough, as though they needed to add to grace by "doing" rather than just "being".  Spending enough time with them was sure to be devastating to the life of the believer- and Paul warned them to watch out!

What a contrast from the company he was discussing in the previous chapter...people who lifted him up in encouragement and love.  People who came along side of him and of others with genuine affection and concern. 

But that is the sad truth of the matter...the people we spend the most time with will eventually infiltrate our lives with their attitudes and their beliefs.  Time and time again scripture discusses this concept:
Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character;
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. 

This is serious stuff here.  God knows how impressionable we are.  He knows that our flesh is naturally drawn to that which is negative.  He knows the power of personal relationships and the effect they can have on our spirits.

So take a look at your life today.  Take a look at who you are spending time with, and what you are allowing your ears to hear.  At the end of the day, you are the one who is responsible for the kind of things you allow to fill your heart and your mind.  Learn to keep good company.  Learn to be content.

Contentment Day 6: Are you still Complaining??

Philippians 2:14-16
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God, without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars int he universe...

If you are joining us for the first time- you're catching us on day 6 of a 12 days series on contentment.  Each day we have uncovered one step toward achieving a content life.  Day by day we've seen the secrets to contentment that Paul learned in his journey of faith.

Today we look at a difficult passage.  It's a difficult passage because it's something that each one of us struggles with on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis.  Complaining.

I have a friend who truly complains about everything.  He has a beautiful house, wonderful wife and child, a steady job and is in good health...but you'd never believe it by talking to him.  Every conversation we have seems like a list of all the terrible things that are going on in his life.  So much so, that he's started actually believing that list.  His negative attitude has made it's way into his heart...and frankly, he's not much fun to be around.  

I read a book on contentment by Linda Dillow.  In her book she talks about a missionary woman who passed away after many fruitful years of ministry in Africa.  She had lived a full life, serving God in the hundred-degree, no air-condition, jungles wih very miserable living conditions.  After she died her daughter found hidden deep in her journal what she called the "Prescription to Contentment":

-Never allow yourself to complain about anything-not even the weather.

-Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.

-Never compare your lot with another's.

-Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.

-Never dwell on tomorrow-remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

 

I love this list because it perfectly describes all the things that tend to drag us into the pit of discontent.  Just like my friend, the reality is, that which we fill our minds with will eventually seep into our hearts.  The toxic seeds of complaining will eventually take root in our lives and we will find ourselves living in a forest of despair, misery, and depression.  

Another reason I appreciate this prescription to contentment is because it points out some of the things we as believers do so innocently sometimes.  I mean, who of us hasn't complained about the weather?  The list could go on and on.  

 

The truth of the matter is, each one of our lives are filled with both positives and negatives.... complaining is simply the habit of choosing to spot-light those negatives, magnifying them to ourselves and to those around us.  In other words, it's the prescription for pain. 

Not only are we left in a state of misery, when we allow our mouths to complain we are portraying our God in a misleading way.  We are failing to shine like starts in a depraved world, but rather, conforming to it. 

Take inventory.  Out of all the words you speak in a day: what is coming out of your mouth these days?  What are you sharing with the world around you?  It it something that will lift up and encourage others?  Or is it something that will plant the seeds of bitterness and discontent in your heart and the hearts of those around you? 

I'll be the first to confess...it's time for a major change. 

 

Contentment:

Day 1: Confidence in Christ

Day 2: The sting of Competition

Day 3: Courage in Life & Death

Day 4: Conceit- The Messiah Complex

Day 5: Considering Others