Three Intruders that can Destroy Your Marriage:

1 Corinthians 13:7
[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When John and I were married, the pastor who married us also happened to be a Licensed Professional Counselor.  I know I may have a slight bias, but they are some wise peeps!

He surprised us all by bringing a few blocks from the nursery room to our formal ceremony in order to conduct his lesson.  Simple blocks, but each shape had a meaning and advice to remember within our marriage.  I loved every lesson these simple toys represented, but one in particular has stayed with me: the Circle.

I'm really struggling lately as I am seeing marriages all around me falling apart.  Couples who have been married as long as 30 years and even those as short as 12 months...all trying to weather the storm, all battling the elements that tear marriages apart, and many times failing.  It breaks my heart to see the suffering that comes from a broken marriage, and the devastating effects it has when a once united body is torn apart in two by the jaws of divorce. 

It makes sense that God hates divorce.  He, more than anyone else, sees the pain it brings to his people.

We have to protect our marriages from the things that can tear it apart.  On the day we were married, John and I were reminded of this truth by contemplating the importance of the Circle, and it's a lesson that we have had to be deliberate in pursuing each and every single day.  

To put it simply, the circle represents boundaries.  It is the wall of protection surrounding your relationship.  The barrier that keeps deadly intruders from finding a way in.  And like it or not, intruders are all around.  They can take on so many forms that if we're not careful, they will find a crack in our walls and slowly seep in.   

In an attempt to guard our marriage from Intruders, my husband and I have been deliberate in keeping a circle around our lives that belongs only to us.  Our marriage is our sacred space, and there are certain components to each other that only we have access to.  We have been careful to protect the things that could easily lead us into the way of an intruder:

1.  Emotions:  Before anything else in an inappropriate relationship comes the root of emotion.  It's important to guard ourselves from interactions that give to someone else a part of us that belongs to our spouse.  Obviously, we need to have great caution when sharing our hearts with someone of the opposite gender, because there are parts of us that are "magnetic" when shared with the heart of another, and should be shared with no one but our spouse.  There are certain conversations that I choose to partake in ONLY with my husband, and he with me. 

But even more subtlety dangerous, I have found there to be truth in this matter even when it comes to same sex relationships.  Women, in particular, love to connect on a deeper level, and there's nothing wrong with that.  The problem comes when those interactions are taking the place of the depths of connection that we are meant to have with our spouse.  Sometimes, even venting to our friends about our marriage can be enough of an out to keep us from "venting" to our husbands.  A lot of communication between spouses is lost because it is finding it's way out through other relationships.  It's important to be proactive about connecting with your spouse, sharing your heart, your feelings, your dreams.   We are created to connect, so we will either bring that need to our spouse or allow it to be filled by intruders. 

2.  Interactions:  My husband and I are very deliberate about the choices we make when it comes to interacting with the world around us.  From what comes out of our mouths, to what we write in emails, to the way we handle our body language- we make a choice to honor each other in everything that we do.  We have built a trust with one another, a trust that started from the first day that we met.  Because of that trust, we have full access to each others lives and anything that has to do with interactions with other people including emails, text messages, computers, conversations, etc. etc.  The trust that we have with each other comes with certain responsibilities, but that trust also allows us to share in an intimate freedom with one another that far outweighs the sacrifices and responsibilities.   

3.  Time:  This is the quietest of intruders, but one that is ravaging many homes because of it's silent entrance.  Our time is a valuable commodity that should be invested in the people that we love and cherish the most, and given to those who we are committed to.  For us, we choose to invest our time in each other. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm up for the occasional ladies night and John has his time to connect with his friends, but when the two of us are available, we do our best to use that time to connect with each other and instead use our "free time" to connect with our friends.  This takes some extra work, some looking ahead at schedules, some planning and preparation.  But it allows us to use our time for each other to the best of our ability and to put each other first.

Although even if you are together every moment, that doesn't protect you from the Intruder of Time.  Time can slip away with your separate hobbies and interests.  You can be in the same room, but find that the time you are spending is really not being invested in each other at all.  With all the modern distractions of Facebook, Pinterest, Reality TV, and yes....even blogging...you can find that your time is being given to the inanimate in exchange for the intimate. 


Protecting your marriage from intruders is a daily task. We've been mindful of that for the past five years, and we pray that God will continue to keep us on guard...always protecting, always trusting,  always hoping, and always persevering in our marriage and in our love. 

I pray the same for you as well. 

Make Sure to Use Protection: Ephesians 6 (Day 6)

Ephesians 6:12-16 (Click here to read all of Ephesians 6)
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.


Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.


Stand firm, then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 

Let me start off with an apology to anyone who may have been offended by the title of this post.  Unfortunately, the idea of "using protection" is associated with things other than spiritual truths in our society.  On the other hand, I am sure there are many readers who would have otherwise looked over this blog post had not the title been so curiosity-provoking...so to you, I say, welcome:)

So far, we have looked at the riches we have in Christ including power, life, love, purpose and light.  Protection is the 6th gift I want to focus on in this study of Ephesians, with a specific focus on verses 10-20.

It's no coincidence that Paul, while chained to a Roman soldier as he is writing this letter to the Church in Ephesus, focuses on the analogy of the military since it is basically staring him in the face.


He pleads with the Church to make sure they are protected on a spiritual level, and reminds them that the things we fight with most in this world are not external, but internal....spiritual.  There is a world beyond this world, and if we are not aware of the impact it can have on our lives we will surely be affected...even, defeated by it. 


In order to take precaution, we as believers must take advantage of the armor God has given us to protect ourselves from the darkness in this world.  He lists a series of pieces which we must "put on" in order to have protection from some very lethal things:

Protection from Lies.  God has given us the Belt of Truth in order to have the ability to ward of the lies of the Evil One- and the lies of this world.  You and I know that these days, we are bombarded with mixed messages and half truths feeding us lies about who we are or who we must become.  Everyday we must be deliberate in putting on God's truth found through his Spirit and through His Word, in order to be safe from lies and to have the wisdom to distinguish even the lies that resemble truth.

Protection from Temptation.  We are equipped with the Breastplate of Righteousness.  I find it no coincidence that this piece of armor is the one that protects our hearts.  The reality is, most of the time we fall into temptation and walk away from righteousness when our vulnerable hearts are exposed and longing for something more.  Everyday we must make sure to put on the breastplate of righteousness and allow God's power to cover over our vulnerable hearts and protect us from the lusts of our flesh.

Protection from Apathy.  I don't know about you, but a nice pair of shoes can do a lot on the scale of motivation!  The person who's feet are constantly fitted with the Shoes of the gospel of peace will find themselves living a life that is overflowing with God's grace, love, and mercy.  I believe that the things we love most and spend the most time with end up oozing out of our lives- whether we want them to or not.  With God's word as our constant foundation- we will not have the ability nor the desire to mingle with apathy.  We'll be like the apostles in Acts 4:20 who proclaimed: "We just can't help speaking about all the things we have seen and heard..."

Protection from Doubt.  One of the things that imprisons believers more than anything else is the problem of fear and doubt.  A spark of doubt can set a whole field of faith ablaze, destroying it in almost an instant.  Thankfully, God has equipped us with the Shield of Faith to dodge the arrows of doubt that are constantly being thrown our way. 

Protection from Worthlessness.  This is my favorite of the armor of God because it is the piece that protects the head and the mind.  For me, I find that my most dangerous battle ground is definitely in the fertile soil of my thoughts.  The Helmet of Salvation protects our minds from the thoughts that can kill us.  Thoughts that degrade and destroy.  Thoughts that limit and bind.  Thoughts that tell us we are not good enough, or we must work harder to earn God's love.  Salvation is free.  It is sure.  And it is permanent.  We must constantly put on our helmets to protect our minds from the thoughts that can quickly eat away at our souls.


Protection from Attacks.  Lastly we are given the Sword of the Spirit...which is God's Word.  You may have noticed, it is the ONLY weapon of "offense" we are given.  All of the other pieces are for our defense, while the sword of God's word can be used to attack and to defeat whatever the Evil One brings our way.  Some may need offense against Satan to protect their minds, some their hearts, some their emotions and some their flesh.  But no matter what, God's word is filled with words that can quickly destroy any attack Satan has to offer...so he can go ahead and bring it, because for you who have the Sword of the Spirit...he's got nothing on you.

All of these pieces of armor combined give me hope and leave me at peace.  There is nothing and no one that can harm me, attack me, or defeat me as long as I am covered in Christ and protected by His strength.  Hold on to that promise each and every single day.  Hold on to it as if your very life depends on it...because it very likely does.  Hold on to it and remember to "put on" God's protection in order to survive.

The key to remember is that we ALREADY possess this armor.  For some of us, it's worn and dented from the many uses it's received.  But for others it sits and collects dust while our spirits are needlessly collecting the battle wounds and scars that have already been taken care of on the cross.  Don't be foolish...put on your armor.  Use protection.

Temptation:

In case you're wondering why I have an apple emblem, read on.  The following post is about temptation.  I was originally looking for a picture of an apple, or some sort of fruit to represent this theme...and then I realized that my searches were pulling up this icon instead.

But you know, there is something truthfully ironic in this.  It makes sense.  In this era, modern technology has become our door to many temptations that we wouldn't otherwise have had.  Things that occupy our time and our minds.  From pornography to IM, facebook, email...end yes, even blogging.  Whether your temptations and addictions stares you in the face as you look at your computer, or whether they come in the form of actual food...we are surrounded by temptations, aren't we?  Take some time today to take ownership of your own.


Genesis 3:4-5
“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman.  “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil”

I have come to realize that the most difficult sins to combat are those that come through the softness of subtlety.  Those that are so in line with our natural longings and desires that they sneak their way into our lives.  Those that are so delicately disguised with the taste of truth that our moral pallets can barely tell the difference. 

It makes sense to me that this is how sin entered the world.  It makes sense that the serpent chipped away at a natural, God-given desire, slowly turning the hard stone of truth into a chiseled lie. 

“You will be like God”, he explained.  There is blatant truth in that desire.  You see, to be made in the likeness of God is our highest calling, for we were made in His image.  True obedience, then, is to give oneself to total transformation into His likeness.  God has birthed that desire within us, to draw us to Himself.

And then the subtle lie slipped in.  The lie slipped in, so quickly replacing the desire of being like God, with simply being God.  How easily one can relate to this lie.  A lie that sets the stage for pridefulness and arrogance, blinding us to our true depravity.  A lie that nurtures the seed of control, deceiving us into believing we hold any sort of power.  A lie that quickly shifts our priorities, moving us from Christ-centered to self-centered.  Oh how quickly the lie takes root.  How quickly it misleads. 

What may have started out with good intent led down the path of destruction.  Subtlety.  Delicately.  Dangerously.  We, too, are in the same quiet battle.  Everyday the subtlety of the enemy seeps into our lives, shifting our focus, filling our time, occupying our minds.  He comes quietly, slyly, like a gentle serpent.  If he came with a crashing roar, we would certainly run and hide.  This way, we may never see him until he is there.  Whispering the chorus of temptation into our ears.  Wooing us with words that hold distorted truth.  Nagging on the vulnerability of our natural desires. 

Daughters and sons of God, may we be challenged today, to either look back, or to look forward.  May we be challenged to sift through our day, taking responsibility for where we have strayed.  May we be challenge to shine the light of God’s full truth- exposing the subtle lies that have bled into our lives.  And may we come running into the arms of our Abba, in full restoration and repentance.  There we will find protection.  There we will find safety. 

Thank you, Lord, for your open arms.