Why I Hate Running and What I'm Running From:

Hebrews 12:1-2
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.

There's nothing I despise more than running.  It takes so much out of me.  Energy.  Strength.  Motivation.  But that's what I've been doing lately.  This time, I'm not talking about physical running.  I'm talking about emotional...and spiritual running.  

To put it vaguely, I've been going through a difficult time in my life.  God has blessed me with so much, and the roots of those blessings run so deep in my life- but the stems of those blessings have began to blossom into pain, suffering, and stress.  The seeds must fall in order for the fruit to be birthed.  I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces much fruit (John 12:24).

I'm waiting for that fruit.  Having to remind myself that it is actually rooted in blessings, though some days blessing is the last thing I feel.  Some days, I just feel crushed.  Pressed.  Persecuted.  And struck down.  

For a moment, I thought the seeds had fallen...I thought it was time to harvest, to taste, to enjoy the fruit.  But I was wrong.  The season is not yet over.  

It's like I was running a marathon, headed toward the finish line, desperate to get to the end.  And when I reached the finish line, I turned the corner and realized that I still had 5 miles to run...

The end would come.  But it was not yet.  

Sometimes, this thought can be more devastating than encouraging.  Sometimes, your body and your soul and your mind just want to get to the end, and you aren't sure if you have the strength to make it through to the finish line. You just don't know if you have what it takes.  Just ask me a few weeks ago, and I, too, didn't think I could.  

But here I am...am still running...

More than anything, I'm thankful that this race I'm running isn't about me, and the strength that I am running with has nothing to do with myself.  I'm thankful that when I am weak and my faith is imperfect, I can fix my eyes on the one who perfects my faith.  I'm thankful that the race has an end, it's not as short as I want it to be, and it's not as straight- but it's a race that was made just for me.  It was marked out for me.  It is mine.  For a reason.   Though I don't always know what that reason is, one thing I do know:

It refines me.  It stretches me.  It teaches me.  It perfects me.  

As much as I hate running...and trust me, I really despise it...I'm learning to be thankful in this race.  I'm learning to run the race marked out for me, and to fix my eyes on Jesus each and every step of the way.  

5 miles to go.  I'm running from fear, doubt, worry, and pain.  And instead, I'm running to Jesus. 

The finish line is in sight.  I'm hopeful that I'll push through and get there.  

May you, dear one, keep running, too. 

What To Do With Your Pain:

Matthew 9:21
"She said to herself, "If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed."

I was reading this passage in Matthew 9 last night, and was struck by the faith of this woman.  I never thought about her condition before, but in other passages of scripture it describes her as a woman with a bleeding disorder, who had been bleeding for years upon years.  This was not a small thing.  I don't know why but I never before realized the struggle that this must have been for her.

I can only imagine the debilitation of such a disorder in the time where modern medicine and medical conveniences didn't exist.  Just getting out of her house must have been a feat, much less taking the time to find and follow this man who claimed to be able to heal and forgive.

She believed that she would find comfort in the presence of Jesus, and she did whatever it took to get close to Him.  It may have cost her embarrassment, humiliation, and shame- but she sought after it as though it were her final hope.  And ultimately, it was. 

That's faith. 

Faith that was recognized by Jesus. 

I can't say that I understand the struggles and difficulties that come with severe and chronic illness, but I do understand pain.  I may not have experienced physical pain like so many have, but I have definitely experienced emotional pain, relational pain, and sometimes even spiritual pain.

I was struck by the faith of this woman...because I know what it feels like to be in pain and need a healer.  But it's easy to want healing...and a whole other thing to seek it out.

I am challenged by her diligence, and her drive to find Jesus, to follow Him, and to touch Him.  I want that for my life.  You see, I believe He has the power to heal, to cleanse, to fill...but I fail to seek Him, to follow Him, and to touch Him in my life.

I want that kind of faith.  A faith that doesn't just believe...but one that acts on my beliefs.  

Maybe you too are dealing with some sort of pain in your life, in need of a healing touch.  Maybe your strength is gone, your body is weak, and your mind is confused.  Maybe you believe in a God who can heal, comfort, and transform...and take that pain.

Be diligent to find Him, to follow Him, and to touch Him.  Make time for Him in your day and invite Him into your pain.  Let your beliefs bring you close to the God who heals...and allow yourself to be made new in His presence. 

 

What a Homeless Man, Me, and John Piper have in common:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

I learn so much from my daughter.  This little 10 month old has so much to teach without even trying.  God uses her in so many ways to help me understand the things that He's been trying to teach me for, oh, about 28 years now.  


Last night my husband and I were praying together after we put her to bed.  When it was my turn to pray I found myself praying about her purpose.  I don't know where that came from, really, but the words just started spilling out of my mouth.  And as the words flowed from my mouth, the tears flowed from my eyes.  I realized that this is a topic that really strikes a cord for me.

Purpose.  You know, if you ask me, when it comes down to it I believe that's the one ingredient necessary for a healthy and meaningful life.  There is really nothing more important.  My prayer for this little girl is that she learns God's purpose for her life the moment she has the ability to understand what that even means. 

I want her to see that her purpose is so unique, so special, and so important.  I want her to understand that the God of this universe has a spotlight on her life and on her soul...she is His focus.  She is His love.  She is His life. 


I see so many teenagers and adults in my office that have never grasped their purpose.  They haven't even gotten a glimpse of it.  Not in their parent's eyes, not in the worlds eyes, and in turn, absolutely not in God's eyes.  For them, life is so broken, so painful, and so meaningless.  They don't understand that they have been created for significance.  They don't see that their life has indescribable value.  They don't fathom that God has plans for their life that are beyond what they could have ever hoped for.    

But, you see....that's the truth.  It's the God-honest truth.  It's the truth for my precious little baby, and it's the truth for my hurting clients.  It's the same truth for both the brilliant John Piper and for the homeless beggar that stands outside in the cold.  It's the same truth for you...and for me.

My prayer for you, precious reader- is that today, you catch a glimpse of His purpose.  Today, you see a glimmer of the great plans He has for your life.  Plans to give you hope.  Plans to give you a future.  Plans to take the joy that is in your life and use it for the encouragement of others.  Plans to take your seeds of suffering and pain and bring life to the dead world around you. 

Plans for you.  A purpose.  Will you receive it?

The Waiting Place:

Psalm 39:7
And now, Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in You.

I was reading a Dr. Seuss book to my daughter last night called, Oh the Places You Will Go.  It's interesting the things God chooses to speak to us.  For me, it was this children's story.

I came across this section where, in his brilliance, Dr. Seuss describes "The Waiting Place".  Across the journey of life, and all the places one can choose to go- there is a useless place where people just sit around....and wait:

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

I love his description of the waiting place.  There is so much truth to the idea that waiting can be a useless waste of time.  People just sitting around and waiting.  Waiting for something to happen.  Looking ahead at the future and what's to come.  Waiting, hoping, and wishing...

And while they sit around and wait....life passes them by. 


You might feel like one of those people, stuck in the waiting place.  There may be something you have been longing for, something you have asked God for...that has never been fulfilled.  You may be so fixated on what it is that you are waiting on, that you have lost your desire for what IS. 

Jim Elliot puts it this way when he says, "Don't let your longing slay the appetite of your living". 


For many of us, our longings can squelch our desire for living.  Our longings can overtake our reason for being.  The waiting game turns out to be a very dangerous thing.

But for those who put their hope in the Lord, the waiting game doesn't have to be a waste of time.  God promises that He can be trusted, no matter what it is that you are waiting on.  He promises to be the hope for anyone who finds themselves waiting.  At the end of our longings and desires, He is there...ready to satisfy and meet everyone of them with Himself.

May God give you the grace to see the Hope that you have in Him...and may He give you the desire and strength to enjoy your life, while you wait.

Hope was walking beside them:

Luke 24:21

 “…but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel”

With heads hanging low, tearful eyes looking towards the ground, they walked the dark road of despair.  Quietly discussing the events of the past few days, the deep feelings of confusion and disappointment combined in the depths of their souls.   

They had believed so strongly.  They had hoped so steadily.  They had waited all their lives for this.  They had invested everything in this One, this one who would save them.  And now He was gone.  The one who had promised to be their Way, their Truth and their Life.  He was now dead.  And their every dream died along side of Him.  There was nothing left to hope.

To many of us, the disappointment and despair of these women is a familiar and dull pain.  Many of us can understand the feelings of walking aimlessly, teary-eyed, with nothing left to hope.  Giving our all to believe, to hope, to dream.   Finding ourselves trusting in this One, and hoping that he will come through as he said he would; investing our hearts, our time, and our very lives.  And then the moments come where hope is destroyed.  Every dream is buried.  Every wish and expectation shattered.  There is nothing left to hope.

Death wins.  Rejection is familiar.  Disappointment echoes.  Fear Reigns. Depression sinks in. Worry abounds. Guilt destroys.  Anger grows.  Hopelessness encompasses.  Sorrow walks along side.  

And then we hear a familiar voice that challenges everything we thought and takes away all that we had feared:

“How foolish you are, how slow of heart to believe…

The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His name…to all nations”

All along, Hope was walking beside them.  When they thought they were traveling alone. He had shattered their death and declared their acceptance; wiped away their tears as he Himself felt the agony of their pain.  He had gone to the depths of Hell, in order to offer them Heaven, and in the midst of their hopelessness, He came to embody their Hope once more.

Life is victorious.  Joy is familiar.  Acceptance echoes.  Confidence reigns.  Peace sinks in.  Love abounds.  Power grows.  Strength encompasses.  Hope walks along side.

Thank you, Lord, that you are our Hope.