The only way to Love better...

 [August 2006: Philadelphia, PA. Shortly after my arrival back from Egypt, and one month before we would be officially engaged!]

June 9th, 2006

Exactly one year before John and I were to be married. 

But believe it not, though we felt the closest we'd ever felt to one another emotionally, geographically- we were thousands of miles away.

Instead of spending my summer with my boyfriend...I was on a mission trip in Egypt that summer; following through with a commitment I had made to Jesus long before we had ever met.  A commitment to love God more, to serve the poor and needy, and to do my earthly best to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  John was taking a course, studying 18 hours a day intensively for what he thought may be his only chance at entering med school and fulfilling God's calling on his life to become a doctor.  His one chance at literally being able to make "the blind see".    

There is no doubt about it, June 9th, 2006 found us both in a really good place.  A place of obedience.  A place of focus.  A place of faith.   

A place where more than ever before our hearts were hidden in the heart of Jesus.  Reading through my journals today was such an incredible reminder to me of the reason why John and I are so in love:

Our love has always been founded in Something Greater than ourselves. 

That day I wrote:

"God is stretching is both...reminding us that we are working primarily for our union with Adonai...all else will follow, and must only follow...

Lord, Thy will be done."

It's easy to forget the glue that binds us together.  In fact, looking back at the times we have struggled most in our marriage the root of the problem always leads to our forgetfulness.  

Forgetfulness- forgetting that God is the Source.  That from Him, by Him, and to Him come all things.  Forgetfulness that in Him do all things hold together. 

When we forget...when we wander...we become self-absorbed...we become self-focused...we stray from the source of True Love, and our marriage is so subtly pulled apart.

I'm reminded of this truth today, because with the hustle and bustle of life I feel that I am personally starting to go down the path of forgetfulness.  These days, I have not acknowledged the Love of my Life and given Him his rightful place in my heart.  I have failed to run to Him to fill me up with more love, more grace, and more forgiveness.  I've been distracted by the things He has "called me to" and failed to remember that more than all of these things:

I am called to Him.

This is where it all began.  This is where it all must remain. 

My life has never been more satisfying, through singleness, through dating, or through marriage- as when I find that I am most satisfied in Him, most intimate with the Lord of my life.  To be in God's presence is to be forced into the overflow of all that is good...and in turn, be able to emit those very good things to the world around us. 

Maybe I have been trying to do too much by myself.  Maybe I have been trying to love on my own...

It's time to remember what holds all things together.  It's time to recall what binds my heart, mind, and heart in steadfastness.  It's time to remember my FIRST love...because therein lies the only answer to be able love at all.

"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest t all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed bu increased."--C.S. Lewis

What's Your Story?

1 Peter 4:10-11
¹⁰ Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. ¹¹ If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 

When God puts something in your heart, it is very difficult to ignore Him.  You can make excuses, and you can even pretend you didn't hear Him, but at the end of the day those who decide to follow His leading find themselves blessed beyond imagination.

God has put the concept of service on my mind the past few weeks.  Being a new mom, I had taken a temporary "sabbatical" from serving others and focused on serving my new baby girl.  To be quite honest, I didn't have the strength, energy, or desire to do much else the first few months of being a mom.  But lately God has slowly been challenging me to take a step of faith and reach out to others in this new stage of my life.

My last post was a challenge for each of us to take a look at the gifts we have been given and put them to use...and as I said before, I can't seem to get this topic off of my mind.  A discussion I had this morning reminded me of a story I had read last year in Donald Miller's Book: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. 

In this book Don talks about his friend's teenage daughter who was making some poor decisions in her life.  Her dad finally realized that his daughter was making these choices in an effort to find purpose and meaning.  He realized that he had not put much effort into helping his daughter create a  "story" for her life, something significant to live for.  And so, she decided to go make up a story of her own "a story of risk and adventure, rebellion and independence". 

This father decided to take the initiative to really give his daughter something to be passionate about...to help her write a good story.  He held a family meeting and presented the idea of raising money to help build an orphanage for needy children through an organization he had researched.  His daughter's face lit up at the prospect of having something meaningful to live for.  They found her taking initiative, raising money, and coming up with brilliant ideas to serve the poor.  She even planned a family trip to Mexico to take part in building the orphanage as a family. 

Soon, she broke up with her loser boyfriend, and began to focus on greater things.  As Don records in his book, "No girl who plays the role of a hero dates a guy who uses her".  

And that's the reality of living our lives the way God intends for us to live them...through His power, we become "heros" in the stories of our lives, living to make this world a better place just as Jesus did.  We take on the identity that He longs for us to have and the purpose that we were made for.

Too many people are walking around, without a significant story to live for- living roles they were never intended to live.  Rebellion and risk look enticing to someone who has nothing better to do.  In my sincere opinion, I believe that 90% of America's youth are going down the wrong path because no one has taken the time to help them write a good story for their lives.  They are bored...looking for an adventure, which is precisely what they were created for. 

God's adventures for our lives and for the lives of those around us are above and beyond what we could ever imagine...if we would only take the time to let Him lead us.   

I'm ready to take my story to the next step...are you?

 

Background Noise: On Life's Significant Moments

Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

I was thinking about what it would look like to take a cross-section of my day and view it from God's perspective.  I would not be surprised in finding out that the things I dub most significant would probably fall under a totally different category from His vantage point.


I got to thinking about this after a conversation I had with my husband.  You see, he is currently involved in some important medical research.  It's funny because going into work everyday this past month, the main focus in his mind was to accomplish productive research and gain beneficial results. 

Recently, his research was pleasantly interrupted by a conversation he had with an Atheist co-worker.  This conversation had significant spiritual implications as they discussed the intricacies of the human body and the possibilities of a Divine Designer.

This got me thinking, because deep down I believe that THESE are the most significant moments in our lives.  These are the treasures buried beneath the sand of our busy schedules.  It's so easy to get caught up in things that have no ultimate significance from an eternal perspective:  that big exam, that new job, the financial situation, that future career goal...but at the end of the day, it's all just background noise.


Don't get me wrong.  I believe God has placed us where we are at for a reason.  If you're a pharmacist, do your job well.  If you deliver Sunday morning papers, do it to the best of your ability.  If you're a doctor, a stay at home mom, or a pastor...pour yourself into doing your best.  But please, never let these roles take priority over the ultimate role we have been given:  to be lovers of God and lovers of man.

These are the things we were created for.

God has given us other things in our lives to enjoy as we are living our ultimate purpose...but it would be a severe tragedy to live our lives focused on the appetizer and never really get to the main course.  And sadly, for many of us...that is a description of our day to day lives.

May we be challenged, today and everyday, to live for the significant moments.  May we be empowered and enabled to see our lives from the perspective of our Savior, savoring the moments of eternal significance and living to love Him and to love others.   

And may everything else begin to fade away as simply background noise. 

Some thoughts on a Blind Beggar:

Luke 18:41

“What do you want me to do for you?”

He could have passed him by.  He could have acted as though He didn’t hear his cries among the deafening crowd.  He could have pointed to His busy schedule, His important agenda...for He was on his way to save all of mankind.  He could have easily disregarded him.  In fact, He could have even tried to silence him like all the rest had done.

A blind beggar was all that he was; just a poor man with nothing to offer the world.  Day by day he lived, ignored by the steps he heard walking by and scorned by the faces he would never see.  But today was different.  Today he heard a crowd, he heard joy, and he heard celebration.  “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by”, they answered him, hoping he might then cease from bothering them. 

Jesus of Nazareth.  Just the sound of the name filled the blind beggar with an indescribable hope.  Jesus of Nazareth.  He had heard so much about this man, this prophet, this teacher, this friend.  He had heard the stories of love, of compassion, of healing and mercy.  Maybe He would be different, the blind beggar hoped.  Maybe He would not be like the others who day by day walked by him with only pity to offer and ridicule to heap. Jesus of Nazareth.  “Son of David”, he heard himself crying with the depth of his being, “Have mercy on me”.  Over and over again he cried out, his loud voice echoing of desperation, “Have mercy on me”. 

And through his cries and tears...he felt a gentle hand upon his face.  He heard a voice so close he could feel his breath as he spoke words of life into his suffering, “What do you want me to do for you?”.   

The Almighty had put everything aside to reach down and hear the cry of a poor beggar.  The one who was disregarded by all was now in the presence of the loving power of a Savior.  Jesus had come to listen, to hear, and to understand.  Jesus had come to melt away the crowd and allow this blind beggar to take all of him in that moment- his healing, his worth, and his very life.  And in that intimate moment, Jesus overcame the title of friend, prophet and teacher....for he became his Lord, “Lord, I want to see”. 

And the same face of Jesus is so near to us: His loving hands, His gentle voice, reaching over the noise of the crowds in our life- and giving us every part of his attention, all that He is. 

And when we cry out to him, there immediately comes that intimate moment in our lives: to let him go by, or to call him Lord.  The choice to receive healing, or to choose to continue to live in death.  The chance to open our eyes and face our beautiful Savior, or to go on with a mask of darkness covering our blinded eyes.  

“Immediately, he received sight, and followed Jesus, praising God.”   

May we also be the recipients of sight.      

New Years Eve: Are You Living A Story Worth Telling?

Philippians 3:13-14
No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all that I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Jesus Christ, is calling us up to heaven. 

A few days ago I started reading the latest book by Don Miller called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.  I’m only a few pages into it at this point and I’m not sure exactly what the book will hold.  From what I gather, it’s a book about Don’s thoughts and feelings as he took part in the process of turning his memoir into a movie.  A movie about himself. 

If I gather nothing else from this book, there is one line on the first page that really struck a cord with me:

“The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make a story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either.”

There is something truly profound about that statement.  It struck a cord with me, because in so many ways, that is how I want to live my life.  That is the word that I long to be identified by at the end of my story: meaningful.   

There are so many words that could define our lives, aren’t there?  So many words that could describe our very existence.  So many years, experiences, actions and memories can be summarized into one short word.  If you could choose your definition, what would it be? 

Depressed.
Bitter.
Selfish.
Loved.
Rich.
Lonely.
Beautiful.
Self-Absorbed.
Content.
Successful.
Kind.

So many words….so many definitions…so many ways to summarize our story.  But will the words that people choose to place upon our lives make a story worth telling?  Will they make a story that inspires others to live and grow and love?  Will they make a story that brings a smile to God’s face?  Will they make a story that would make us proud to call it our own?

I don’t know about you, but I want to live a story that is worth telling.  I want to live a life that is nothing less than meaningful.  I want to take these precious moments and days and years that God has given me, and give them back to Him in a way that is nothing short of meaningful.  Nothing short of what He meant for it to be. 

At the close of 2009, I challenge you to take a look at your life.  Take a look around you.  Take a look of how far you have come.  Take a look at where you are.  Take a look at who you have become.  Take a look at how you have used your moments and your days. 

And then, look ahead.  Look beyond your mediocre plans for your life and embrace the magnificence that He has designed for you.  Let go of the empty definitions that have been bogging you down and begin to take on those which will give your life purpose and meaning.  Those which you were meant to carry all along. 

This New Year, may you be compelled to live toward meaning.  May you be inspired to live this life as if it were your last to live.  May you be encouraged to define your life by words that you have never been able to use before.  May your life be filled with the seeds of hope, meaning, and purpose that will take root and begin to grow.  This New Year, may you strive to live a story worth telling.

Happy New Year Everyone.